Amsterdam

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Amsterdam, or "The Birmingham of the South", was the venue for Mission 9. Here the Regiment met Barney.

Diaries

Mike's Amsterdam Diary

Codewords

Barney's is a pancake house in 9 Amsterdam, named after the darts player Raymond Van Barneveld. It also goes by the name "Pannenkoeken", which is German for pancake. The Colonel's regiment visited Barney's many times during Mission 9 9 Amsterdam and it was the site of the initialisation of the Grand Unified Experience. Barney's is known for its excellent pancakes, some of which come with free entry into the slagroom.

Barney's

Barney's is a pancake house in 9 Amsterdam, named after the darts player Raymond Van Barneveld. It also goes by the name "Pannenkoeken", which is German for pancake. The Colonel's regiment visited Barney's many times during Mission 9 9 Amsterdam and it was the site of the initialisation of the Grand Unified Experience. Barney's is known for its excellent pancakes, some of which come with free entry into the slagroom.

Grand Unified Experience

The term Grand Unified Experience refers to the experience which results in two groups of Colonel's men, who were previously enjoying their own separate experiences, uniting together for the first time on a Colonel's break. When this unification occurs, the previous individual experiences merge and the result is a Grand Unified Experience. Such an incident happened on Mission 9 9 Amsterdam, when David, Mike and Chris met up in Barney's with Jon, Dave and Rupert. Steve joined the group later on during the day in Haesje Claes to form an Experience of Everything.

Experience of Everything

The first documented situation of an "Experience of Everything" occurring on a Colonel's break was on the first day in 9 Amsterdam. Early in the day, two separate groups of Colonel's men met up in Barney's, causing their separate experiences to be united in one Grand Unified Experience. However, Steve was to arrive later in the day, so the experience was not complete. He finally joined the regiment in Haesje Claes to result in an Experience of Everything. More recently, an Experience of Everything occurred on Mission 15 15 Geneva. The meeting of David and Mike with Rupert and Dave, at Luton airport, brought about a Grand Unified Experience. The following day, Chris joined the regiment in Geneva, creating an Experience of Everything.

Haesje Claes

Haesje Claes is a restaurant in 9 Amsterdam famed for serving traditional Dutch food. The Colonel's regiment visited the restaurant on the first night of Mission 9 9 Amsterdam. The speciality dish appeared to be stamppot. It was pretty tasty. Haesje Claes was also the location at which the Grand Unified Experience became an Experience of Everything.

Hash bar

Hash bars are very common in 9 Amsterdam and appear to be really grim cafes where people can go and freely smoke hash. The laws on hash are rather vague in 9 Amsterdam, but it goes roughly like this:

Its legal to buy it. Its legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's illegal to carry it, but that doesn't matter 'cause - get a load of this - if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam its illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right those guys don't have.

Whilst redundant information to the Colonel's men, who on the whole think that hash smoking is a disgusting habit anyway, these words were quoted several times during Mission 9 9 Amsterdam.

Strangely, they do not seem to sell corned beef hash in their hash bars.

Raymond Van Barneveld

Raymond Van Barneveld is a Dutch darts player who plays in the Professional Darts Corporation having left the British Darts Organisation in 2006. He is a four times winner of the world title and is second only to Eric Bristow on the all time list. These days he divides his time between playing professional darts and managing his own successful pancake house in 9 Amsterdam, an establishment known as Barney's. His pancakes are excellent and some of them come with free entry into the slagroom.

Ripoffamede

A ripoffamede is something which is far too expensive. For instance, Anne Frank's House in 9 Amsterdam, which charges about 7.50 Euros per person to see a little cubby hole, may be classified as a ripoffamede. This word could also be applied to any museum which charges more than about 2 Euros for entry. The dicking around boys often visit ripoffamedes during Colonel's breaks whilst the disgruntled boys spend their time chilling.

Seventies restaurant

Seventies Restaurants are not normally recommended for meals on Colonel's breaks, even if you're struggling to find somewhere to eat. The main reason for this is that the seventies decor may put you off whilst you're trying to eat. The Colonel's Regiment almost blundered and entered a seventies restaurant on the second evening in 9 Amsterdam. Fortunately, Dave was alert to the possibility and pointed out the distasteful seventies decor before the remainder of the regiment had managed to secure a table.

Slagroom

Slagroom was discovered on the menu in Barney's during Mission 9 9 Amsterdam. It appeared on the bill for the restaurant alongside David and Mike's pancakes. They immediately wondered what it meant when it said "mit slagroom". They were curious where the slagroom was located and why they had been charged when they hadn't used it. Upon further investigation, it turned out that slagroom was Dutch for "whipped cream". This caused much hilarity and the Colonel's regiment speculated whether "whipped cream" meant something similarly amusing in Dutch.

Stamppot

Stamppot is a traditional Dutch dish which the Colonel's Regiment were fortunate enough to sample in Haesje Claes during Mission 9 9 Amsterdam. It appears to consist of a selection of meat with potatoes and a vegetable of your choice. Chris opted for the mixed vegetables stamppot, which appeared to be the best choice, as it came with a sizeable portion of mashed potatoes. Meanwhile, David and Mike opted for the red bean stamppot, which was accompanied by about four potato circuloids. This left them feeling pretty shortchanged.