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Number of missions 2 before Its Awakening (Mission 19 22px-Flag of Malta.svg.png Colonel.png19 Valletta, Mission 20 22px-Flag of Belgium (civil).svg.png Colonel.png20 Bruges), 3 after (Mission 22 22px-Flag of Portugal.svg.png Colonel.png22 Lisbon, Mission 24 22px-Flag of the Netherlands.svg.png Colonel.png24 Arnhem, Mission 26 22px-Flag of Germany.svg.png Alan-Shearer.png 21 Colonel.png26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen)
Draw privilege Choose The Form Of The Destructor
Gets a destination If Pete Gibbon's representative so chooses, when Pete Gibbon is invoked to replace Kurt, Shaft or Grosser Vass's destination.
Preceding mascot Louis
Following mascot Doctor Wine Picard

Gozer, also known as Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, Gozer the Traveler and Lord of the Sebouillia, joined the Colonel's regiment on Mission 19 22px-Flag of Malta.svg.png Colonel.png19 Valletta. An ancient, ultra-powerful, malignant entity from another dimension who was summoned to New York City to destroy the world. Gozer was originally worshipped as a god by the Hittites, Mesopotamians, and the Sumerians around 6000 BC. Gozer is without gender (though It first appears as a female in the movie). It was worshiped by the powerful Cult of Gozer. Gozer has two trusted minions – themselves worshipped as demi-gods – that are harbingers of destruction and primary agents for Its coming: Vinz Clortho, The Keymaster and Zuul, The Gatekeeper. Gozer has visited our world three times, in 1984 and 1991, both times assuming the form of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and again in 2011, assuming the form of a souvenir Maltese bus. This is the form in which the Regiment encountered Gozer, on the island of Gozo, and It remains in this form to this day. Malta has since completely replaced its fleet of buses, presumably out of sheer terror.

The Regiment feared Gozer's Awakening in 22px-Flag of Belgium (civil).svg.png Colonel.png20 Bruges, but owing to an oversight (Dave didn't realize the goggle eyes weren't self-adhesive), Gozer's awakening did not occur. This merciful respite was not to last, however, as this occurred shortly before Mission 22 22px-Flag of Portugal.svg.png Colonel.png22 Lisbon, an event which is rumoured to have precipitated the deaths of Robin Gibb and Donna Summer.

Gozer is rather uncomfortable, although equipped with both transverse and perimeter seating.

Choose The Form Of The Destructor

Gozer's power is wielded by the player with the highest scoring single round in Pete Gibbon's Schweinerei tournament. If the Colonel's man representing Pete Gibbon so chooses, when called upon to replace a destination with the destination revealed in Pete Gibbon's envelope, he may instead invoke the power of the Gozerian.

The Colonel's man representing Gozer is then free to select a substitute replacement destination from the set of all destinations which have been in the draw 3 or more times.

See the destinations page for a table of eligible destinations.

Thankfully, the Gozerian has not yet been invoked.


Mission Winner of the Gozerian Winning Score Form of the Replacement
Mission 23 22px-Flag of Denmark.svg.png Colonel.png23 Copenhagen Mike 72 Not invoked
Mission 24 22px-Flag of the Netherlands.svg.png Colonel.png24 Arnhem Dave 55 Not invoked
Mission 25 22px-Flag of Belgium (civil).svg.png Colonel.png25 Ghent {{}} Not invoked
Mission 26 22px-Flag of Germany.svg.png Alan-Shearer.png 21 Colonel.png26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen Rupert 56 Not invoked
Mission 27 22px-Flag of Bulgaria.svg.png Colonel.png27 Sofia Dave 53 Vienna
Mission 28 22px-Flag of Austria.svg.png Colonel.png28 Vienna Rupert 55 Not invoked
Mission 29 22px-Flag of Luxembourg.svg.png Colonel.png29 Luxembourg (City) Rupert 55 Not invoked

Interaction with Gløgg

Gozer cannot be directly bummed or helped.