The toasts: Difference between revisions
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(Kendal toasts first draft) |
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* Skipton Castle, overlooking the waterfall | * Skipton Castle, overlooking the waterfall | ||
| For a good choice | | For a good choice | ||
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|{{M35}} | |||
|[[Image:Kendal_Toasts_Living_Room.jpg]] | |||
[[Image:Kendal_Toast_Helvellyn.jpg]] | |||
[[Image:Kendal_Toast_Casa_Pedro.jpg]] | |||
[[Image:Kendal_Toast_Scout_Scar.jpg]] | |||
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* In the living room and kitchen | |||
* By the lake on the way down from Helvellyn | |||
* Pedro's Casa restaurant | |||
* On a memorial bench near Scout Scar | |||
| To a great invention | |||
|} | |} | ||
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* {{M33s}}: New MP for Newbury Laura Ferris (David) | * {{M33s}}: New MP for Newbury Laura Ferris (David) | ||
* {{M34s}}: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?) | * {{M34s}}: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Newly appointed Second Dog of Steve's household Skye a.k.a. Victor (Dave) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Dead Bob Willis (Mike) | * {{M33s}}: Dead Bob Willis (Mike) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Dead Eddie Large | * {{M34s}}: Dead Eddie Large | ||
* {{M35s}}: Dead Jackie Mason (David) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Long-haired Bryan May (David) | * {{M33s}}: Long-haired Bryan May (David) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Mustachioed Paul Chuckle (Mike) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Mentalist dead Derek Acorah (Mike) most haunted | * {{M33s}}: Mentalist dead Derek Acorah (Mike) most haunted | ||
* {{M34s}}: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Mentalist Caligula (David) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a Canadian | |To a Canadian | ||
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* {{M33s}}: (?) | * {{M33s}}: (?) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Candian-born Emma Raducanu (Chris) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Silver-haired Dead David Bellamy (Dave) | * {{M33s}}: Silver-haired Dead David Bellamy (Dave) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Partially silver-haired Luna (Steve) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Alleged cheat Alastair Carter (Mike) | * {{M33s}}: Alleged cheat Alastair Carter (Mike) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Love cheat Matt Hancock (David, based on Mike's idea) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Sean Pertwee (Mike, but David made it happen) | * {{M33s}}: Sean Pertwee (Mike, but David made it happen) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Luna (David) | * {{M34s}}: Luna (David) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Pate from Soccer Boss (Mike & David) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: CSM Hollis, V.C. (David) | * {{M33s}}: CSM Hollis, V.C. (David) | ||
* {{M34s}}: The Military Hero Edward IV (David) | * {{M34s}}: The Military Hero Edward IV (David) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Pen Farthing, for evacuating a plane full of dogs from Afghanistan (Mike) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: the {{Scottish Highlands}} (Mike) (this seemed idiotic in February 2020) | * {{M33s}}: the {{Scottish Highlands}} (Mike) (this seemed idiotic in February 2020) | ||
* {{M34s}}: {{Rouen}} | * {{M34s}}: {{Rouen}} | ||
* {{M35s}}: {{Alice Springs}} (Dave) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | ||
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* {{M33s}}: “Definitely called my bus” (David, quoting Rupert) | * {{M33s}}: “Definitely called my bus” (David, quoting Rupert) | ||
* {{M34s}}: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: That we should descend Helvellyn on Squirrel Edge (David) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a noted user of public transport | |To a noted user of public transport | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Carlos Ghosn (the CEO who escaped on bullet train) (Dave) | * {{M33s}}: Carlos Ghosn (the CEO who escaped on bullet train) (Dave) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Prolific user of Public Footpaths Cumbrian Brian Glover? (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|Special lifetime achievement toast | |Special lifetime achievement toast | ||
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* {{M33s}}: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!) | * {{M33s}}: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!) | ||
* {{M34s}}: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston) | * {{M34s}}: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston) | ||
* {{M35s}}: That te staff at the Fell Bar should have considered the size of their pizzas when buying tables (Dave) | |||
|- | |- | ||
| To someone who has recently left office | | To someone who has recently left office | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Jo Swinson (?) | * {{M33s}}: Jo Swinson (?) | ||
* {{M34s}}: 73 UK MEPs (David) | * {{M34s}}: 73 UK MEPs (David) | ||
* {{M35s}}: The mentalist Mike Pence (Mike) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Moderately nice German Rommel (David) | * {{M33s}}: Moderately nice German Rommel (David) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Nice German Thomas Muller, for missing an open goal against England in the World Cup (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
| A Geordie | | A Geordie | ||
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* {{M33s}}: Geordie Bill Dunn, commander of the Juno Beach Churchill AVRE 1 Charlie tank (Dave) | * {{M33s}}: Geordie Bill Dunn, commander of the Juno Beach Churchill AVRE 1 Charlie tank (Dave) | ||
* {{M34s}}: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: The Geordies dressed as white mammals (goats we think, or possibly sheep or cows) we met climbing Helvellyn (Dave) | |||
|- | |- | ||
| For a good choice | | For a good choice | ||
| | | | ||
* {{M34s}}: For a good choice, Tom (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: For a good choice, Tom (Dave) | ||
|- | |||
| To a great invention | |||
| | |||
* {{M35s}}: The invention of the two-step process for cleaning a Vitoshan Dog with leaves and Dirt (Steve) | |||
|} | |} |
Revision as of 12:34, 14 September 2021
A new regular feature of Colonel's missions, the toasts originated on Mission 15 15 Geneva. After a strenuous hike up La dole, the men surveyed the spread out landscape beneath, and were moved to mark the occasion with a toast. The chosen toastee was Mayor Boris, who had recently attained office; the vehicle of the toast, a can of Feldschloesschen lager.
Since then, at lunchtime on the excursion day, the men toast various luminaries of different types. Oddly, the toasts are not associated with any particular mascot, nor are they an application.
Mission | Location and vehicle of toast | New toast | |
---|---|---|---|
Mission 15 15 Geneva | La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager | To someone who has recently attained office | |
Mission 16 16 Athens | Lykavittos Hill | To someone who has recently died | |
Mission 17 17 36 Porto | Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port | To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed | |
Mission 18 18 Berlin | Christmas market, Alexanderplatz | To a mentalist | |
Mission 19 19 Valletta | Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and Kinnie | To a Canadian | |
Mission 20 20 Bruges | De Garre, with their Belgian home brew | To someone with silver hair | |
Mission 21 21 Budapest | János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers | To an alleged cheat | |
Mission 22 22 Lisbon | Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and Super Bock beer | To a potential eighth Colonel's man | |
Mission 23 23 Copenhagen | In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers | To a seasonal chanteur | |
Mission 24 24 Arnhem | On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer | To a military hero | |
Mission 25 25 Ghent | On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers | To an idiotic former draw destination | |
Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen | Up the Zugspitze with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on The Wank with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr | To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |
Mission 27 27 Sofia | At the summit of Vitosha with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer | To a noted user of public transport | |
Mission 28 28 Vienna |
|
| |
Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City) |
|
To someone who has recently left office | |
Mission 30 30 Bergen | Revurtjern hut,
near Fløyen |
(no new toast) | |
Mission 31 31 Kraków |
|
To a nice German | |
Mission 32 32 Rome | (no new toast) | ||
Mission 33 33 Bayeux |
|
To a Geordie | |
Mission 34 34 Skipton |
|
For a good choice | |
Mission 35 35 Kendal | File:Kendal Toasts Living Room.jpg
File:Kendal Toast Helvellyn.jpg File:Kendal Toast Casa Pedro.jpg |
|
To a great invention |
Toastees
Toast | Toastees | Notes |
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To someone who has recently attained office |
|
|
To someone who has recently died |
|
|
To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed |
|
|
To a mentalist |
| |
To a Canadian |
|
|
To someone with silver hair |
|
|
To an alleged cheat |
|
|
To a potential eighth Colonel's man |
|
|
To a seasonal chanteur |
|
Retired by agreement after Mission 30 30 Bergen |
To a military hero |
|
|
To an idiotic former draw destination |
| |
To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break |
| |
To a noted user of public transport |
| |
Special lifetime achievement toast |
|
|
To a fair point made on a Colonel's break |
| |
To someone who has recently left office | ||
To a nice German | ||
A Geordie | ||
For a good choice |
| |
To a great invention |
|