The toasts: Difference between revisions
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* {{M23s}}: New Canadian Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney | * {{M23s}}: New Canadian Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney | ||
* {{M24s}}: New Prime Minister of Australia Tony Abbott (proposed by David) | * {{M24s}}: New Prime Minister of Australia Tony Abbott (proposed by David) | ||
* {{M25s}}: New director of McLaren Ron Dennis (Mike) | |||
* {{M26s}}: New Head of DHS research funding and replacement for Leland, Michelle Colby (Mike) | |||
* {{M27s}}: New Shadow International Development Secretary Diane Abbott (David) | |||
* {{M28s}}: New Mentalist Prime Minister Theresa May (Mike) | |||
* {{M29s}}: New UK representative to the International Arctic Science Committee, Steve (Dave) | |||
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* {{M23s}}: Dead Clive Dunn | * {{M23s}}: Dead Clive Dunn | ||
* {{M24s}}: Dead Seamus Heaney (Dave) | * {{M24s}}: Dead Seamus Heaney (Dave) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Dead Roger Lloyd Pack (David) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Dead Garibaldi (David) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Dead Cilla Black (Mike) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Dead Ronnie Corbett (David) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Dead Yorkshireman Gorden Kaye (David) | |||
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* {{M23s}}: Beardo Christoffer from the Bishop's Arms, Malmö | * {{M23s}}: Beardo Christoffer from the Bishop's Arms, Malmö | ||
* {{M24s}}: Moustachioed Allan Border (Steve) | * {{M24s}}: Moustachioed Allan Border (Steve) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Beardo Hideous Orangutan - from Fawlty Towers (Steve) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Shavoed Jon Lee from S Club 7 (Mike) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Moustachioed Samarjit Patnaik (Steve) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Newly-Moustachioed Nigel Farrage (Steve) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Beardoed Romesh Ranganathan (Mike) | |||
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* {{M23s}}: Mentalist restauranteur (and alleged purchaser of the world's entire supply of Donkey Cheese) Novak Djoković | * {{M23s}}: Mentalist restauranteur (and alleged purchaser of the world's entire supply of Donkey Cheese) Novak Djoković | ||
* {{M24s}}: Mentalist Boris Johnson (Dave) | * {{M24s}}: Mentalist Boris Johnson (Dave) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Mentalist David Blaine (Mike) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Mentalist Putin (David) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Mentalist Jeremy Corbyn (David) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Mentalist Donald Trump (Chris) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Mentalist David Icke (Mike) | |||
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|To a Canadian | |To a Canadian | ||
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* {{M23s}}: Canadian Mike Nolan | * {{M23s}}: Canadian Mike Nolan | ||
* {{M24s}}: Canadian Michael J Fox (David) | * {{M24s}}: Canadian Michael J Fox (David) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Canadian Dan Aykroyd (Mike) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Canadian Bill Werburniuk (Mike) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Canadian Rachel McAdams (Mike) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Canadian John Candy (David) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Canadian Justin Trudeau (David) | |||
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* {{M23s}}: Silver Haired Jonathan Edwards | * {{M23s}}: Silver Haired Jonathan Edwards | ||
* {{M24s}}: Silver-haired tractor driver Gary Lineker (Dave) | * {{M24s}}: Silver-haired tractor driver Gary Lineker (Dave) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Silver-haired racing driver Kimi Raikkonen (Dave/Steve) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Silver-haired Harry Gration (Steve) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Silver-haired Geoffrey from Rainbow (Steve) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Silver-Haired Damon Hill (Mike) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Silver-haired David Jason (Mike) | |||
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|To an alleged cheat | |To an alleged cheat | ||
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* {{M21s}}: | * {{M21s}}: Alleged cheat S X Ma | ||
* {{M22s}}: | * {{M22s}}: Alleged ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwain_Chambers|and since reformed]]) cheat Dwain Chambers | ||
* {{M23s}}: | * {{M23s}}: Cheat Tecwen Whittock | ||
* {{M24s}}: | * {{M24s}}: Alleged cheat Stephen Lee (David) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Alleged cheat François Hollande (Steve) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Alleged cheats Blatter & FIFA (Mike) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Alleged cheats The New England Patriots (Mike) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Alleged cheat Hillary Clinton (David) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Alleged cheat Mike's Indonesian collaborator, who is being investigated for academic dishonesty (Mike) | |||
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* {{M23s}}: Dead Don Ameche | * {{M23s}}: Dead Don Ameche | ||
* {{M24s}}: Devon Malcolm (David) | * {{M24s}}: Devon Malcolm (David) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Keith (David) | |||
* {{M26s}}: [That Dog] (David) | |||
* {{M27s}}: [[1st_Volunteer_Battalion|Fabrizio Figer / Finger]] (Dave) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Angel (Mike) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Lord Bernard of Bourscheid (David) | |||
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* {{M23s}}: Mentalist Christmas pop smash artist Mr. Blobby | * {{M23s}}: Mentalist Christmas pop smash artist Mr. Blobby | ||
* {{M24s}}: Terry Wogan, for his timeless "Floral Dance" (Steve) | * {{M24s}}: Terry Wogan, for his timeless "Floral Dance" (Steve) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Chris Rhea (Mike) | |||
* {{M26s}}: Mel Smith, for 'Rocking Around The Christmas Tree' (Steve) | |||
* {{M27s}}: East 17, for 'Stay Another Day' (Steve) | |||
* {{M28s}}: (no toast) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Blondin (David) | |||
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|To a military hero | |To a military hero | ||
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* {{M24s}}: | * {{M24s}}: Lt Col John Frost (David) | ||
* {{M25s}}: Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington (David) | |||
* {{M26s}}: The Red Baron (David) | |||
* {{M27s}}: Lt. Colonel Wilfrith Elstob, V.C. (Mike) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Richard the Lionheart (David) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Lt. Winters (Mike) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
|To an idiotic former draw destination | |To an idiotic former draw destination | ||
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* | * {{M25s}}: {{Skern Lodge}} (Mike) | ||
* | * {{M26s}}: {{Steamboat Springs}}, as a winter destination (Mike) | ||
* | * {{M27s}}: {{Perpignan}} (Mike) | ||
* {{M28s}}: {{(near) Brussels}} (Dave) | |||
* | * {{M29s}}: {{Aalborg}}, since it's only worth visiting one week a year (Mike) | ||
* | |||
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|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | ||
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* {{M26s}}: "Dave and I will see you later!" (David / Mike) | |||
* {{M27s}}: "You, fuck you, you are a piece of fucking shit" (Mike) | |||
* | * {{M28s}}: "That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch" (David) | ||
* | * {{M29s}}: "Justin Trudeau has been around for ages" (Mike) (see above) | ||
* | |||
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|To a noted user of public transport | |||
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* {{M27s}}: Angel, for helping us navigate the buses to the base of the mountain (Dave) | |||
* {{M28s}}: Her Majesty The Queen (David) | |||
* {{M29s}}: Rosa Parks (David) | |||
* The | |||
* | |||
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| | |Special lifetime achievement toast | ||
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* The | * {{M28s}}: The Lifetime Achievements of Terry Wogan (Mike) | ||
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|- | |- | ||
| | |To a fair point made on a Colonel's break | ||
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* | * {{M28s}}: "Why you get off 96?" (Steve) | ||
* {{M29s}}: "If you scientists can't save the world, us artists are going to have to get up and do something" (David) | |||
* | |||
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| To someone who has recently left office | | To someone who has recently left office | ||
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* | * {{M29s}}: Douglas Carswell (Dave) | ||
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|{{M30}} | |{{M30}} |
Revision as of 17:42, 13 July 2021
A new regular feature of Colonel's missions, the toasts originated on Mission 15 15 Geneva. After a strenuous hike up La dole, the men surveyed the spread out landscape beneath, and were moved to mark the occasion with a toast. The chosen toastee was Mayor Boris, who had recently attained office; the vehicle of the toast, a can of Feldschloesschen lager.
Since then, at lunchtime on the excursion day, the men toast various luminaries of different types. Oddly, the toasts are not associated with any particular mascot, nor are they an application.
Mission | Location and vehicle of toast | New toast | |
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Mission 15 15 Geneva | La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager | To someone who has recently attained office | |
Mission 16 16 Athens | Lykavittos Hill | To someone who has recently died | |
Mission 17 17 36 Porto | Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port | To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed | |
Mission 18 18 Berlin | Christmas market, Alexanderplatz | To a mentalist | |
Mission 19 19 Valletta | Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and Kinnie | To a Canadian | |
Mission 20 20 Bruges | De Garre, with their Belgian home brew | To someone with silver hair | |
Mission 21 21 Budapest | János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers | To an alleged cheat | |
Mission 22 22 Lisbon | Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and Super Bock beer | To a potential eighth Colonel's man | |
Mission 23 23 Copenhagen | In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers | To a seasonal chanteur | |
Mission 24 24 Arnhem | On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer | To a military hero | |
Mission 25 25 Ghent | On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers | To an idiotic former draw destination | |
Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen | Up the Zugspitze with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on The Wank with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr | To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |
Mission 27 27 Sofia | At the summit of Vitosha with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer | To a noted user of public transport | |
Mission 28 28 Vienna |
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| |
Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City) |
|
To someone who has recently left office | |
Mission 30 30 Bergen | Revurtjern hut,
near Fløyen |
(no new toast) | |
Mission 31 31 Kraków |
|
To a nice German | |
Mission 32 32 Rome | (no new toast) | ||
Mission 33 33 Bayeux |
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To a Geordie | |
Mission 34 34 Skipton |
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For a good choice |
Toastees
Toast | Toastees | Notes | |||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
To someone who has recently attained office |
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To someone who has recently died |
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To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed |
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To a mentalist |
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To a Canadian |
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To someone with silver hair |
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||||
To an alleged cheat |
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||||
To a potential eighth Colonel's man |
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||||
To a seasonal chanteur | |||||
To a military hero | |||||
To an idiotic former draw destination |
| ||||
To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |||||
To a noted user of public transport | |||||
Special lifetime achievement toast |
|
||||
To a fair point made on a Colonel's break | |||||
To someone who has recently left office |
|
||||
Mission 30 30 Bergen | Revurtjern hut,
near Fløyen |
(no new toast) |
|
| |
Mission 31 31 Kraków |
|
A nice German |
|
| |
Mission 32 32 Rome | (no new toast) |
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| ||
Mission 33 33 Bayeux |
|
A Geordie |
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| |
Mission 34 34 Skipton |
|
For a good choice
(a temporary new toast) |
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|