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The Genoa skyline, featuring the Ministry of Shafting (right)
The Genoa skyline, featuring the Ministry of Shafting (right)

Genoa, the home of shafting, was the venue for mission 5.


Mike's Genoa Diary

David's Genoa Diary

Little Lucky Leprechaun's Genoa Diary



In Genoa, it is now the custom to stand on street corners and go, "Bibble" at passers by. The Colonel's Regiment, always eager to obey the local customs were happy to observe this during Mission 5.

Don't have a cow, mate

A phrase used by David Brent in "The Office" in an attempt to appease his boss when he is unhappy with him. The first use of this phrase on a Colonel's break was in 5 Genoa. At end of the meal on the second night, everyone threw in money for the bill. Since we were fairly low on change, some people had to throw in more than their share. One such person was Dave who threw in an extra five Euros. Mike gathered the money together and told everyone how much their share was. At this point, Dave, having already pointed out that he'd thrown in extra, said, "Don't forget I've got an extra five Euros in there". He said it so strongly that Mike was taken aback somewhat. However, he recovered admirably and turned round to Dave, saying, "Alright, don't have a cow, mate!" David then burst into fits of laughter at this application and once he'd got himself under control, Mike explained the gag to the rest of the Colonel's Regiment. "Don't have a cow, mate!" is now used regularly when a member of the Colonel's Regiment feels that another is overreacting about something. It is a less offensive version of "Touched a nerve there, interesting!"

Double shafting

A clever concept whereby the shafter confuses the shaftee by implying that they might be shafted, thus forcing the shaftee to change their actions to avoid this. However, it turns out that the shaft is, in fact, designed to occur should the shaftee take steps to avoid being shafted. This happened to Amal in Genoa. He found himself on the wrong side of a railing. Realising that there was a shafting in progress, he retraced his steps, only to realise that there was a gap in the railing further up so he would have been okay. He was thus forced to walk further than he would have done otherwise and the double shafting was complete.

The entire regiment were the victims of an ingenious double shaft during Mission 19 19 Valletta. Having failed to get off the bus at the Dingli Cliffs, they quickly jumped off in the centre of Dingli when the bus stopped at a junction. However, they later realised that the bus would have looped back to stop at the Bobbyland restaurant at the other end of the Dingli Cliffs. Fortunately, they did manage to shaft Robert from "Duty Free" in the process.

Great Genoan

A massive breed of dog that lives in Genoa and feeds on mini dogs.

Ministry of Shafting

An organisation housed in a large building that dominates the skyline in Genoa and tries to disguise itself as an opera house. Amal, David and Mike, however, immediately spotted its true nature while strolling through the Oriental gardens in Genoa. The Ministry of Shafting coordinates all shafting activity throughout Genoa and beyond.


Monaco has not been a destination for a Colonel's break thus far. However, on Mission 5, a second day excursion took Amal, David, Chris, Rupert and Mike to the principality. Whilst there they were lucky enough to walk around the Grand Prix circuit (which was all set up ready for the Grand Prix the following weekend), discover the Colonel in a cafe near Prince Rainier's palace (where they also got ripped off with really expensive drinks), eat some Tarte au Flan (which Rupert didn't like) and, of course, purchase Shaft.


A form of sandwich that is supposed to be toasted. However, it seems that the version in Genoa consists of stale bread, tasteless cheese and dodgy looking ham. And it certainly isn't toasted.


A mini pizza served in Shaftissimo which is actually no more than one mouthful. That was Chris' entire lunch on the first day in 5 Genoa.


A concept very similar to bus shafting but applicable to all walks of life, it was first coined by Amal and David in 5 Genoa. The Colonel's Regiment stopped to purchase an ice-cream but were not allowed to sit down in the restaurant to eat them, because they had purchased their ice-creams before finding a table. Unable to believe this amazing shafting, they walked on, only to get shafted at the very next place they came to. They ordered paninis and a thing called a pizzetta in a restaurant, only to discover that they didn't get quite what they bargained for. The Colonel's Regiment continued to get shafted for the remainder of the Genoa experience. Amal suffered the worst shafting experience, being the victim of an elaborate double shafting when he thought he was being clever but in fact had just been shafted. Shafting in 5 Genoa is coordinated through the Ministry of Shafting.


A restaurant famous for serving paninis and pizzetta. It also prides itself on shafting its customers.

Tarte au Flan

A form of custard tart which David and Mike were lucky enough to sample during their first visit to Monaco in 1996. They described it as "classic" and were determined to find some on their return there as part of Mission 5 5 Genoa. Unfortunately the shop they purchased it from on their first visit no longer stocked the cake and they were forced to buy a similar looking tart of a different name. It was not a disappointment, however, though Amal and Rupert thought differently at the time. Chris loved it, and was quite happy to help Amal to finish his piece.


A village in the Cinque Terre, to the east of Genoa. The sort of place you could just find a bakery.