The toasts: Difference between revisions
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* {{M28s}}: New Mentalist Prime Minister Theresa May (Mike) | * {{M28s}}: New Mentalist Prime Minister Theresa May (Mike) | ||
* {{M29s}}: New UK representative to the International Arctic Science Committee, Steve (Dave) | * {{M29s}}: New UK representative to the International Arctic Science Committee, Steve (Dave) | ||
* {{M30s}}: New councillor for Gospel Oak, Jenny (Rupert) | |||
* {{M31s}}: New Brexit minister Dominic Raab (Dave) | |||
* {{M32s}}: New MEP for South West England Ann Widdecombe (Mike) | |||
* {{M33s}}: New MP for Newbury Laura Ferris (David) | |||
* {{M34s}}: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?) | |||
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* {{M28s}}: Dead Ronnie Corbett (David) | * {{M28s}}: Dead Ronnie Corbett (David) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Dead Yorkshireman Gorden Kaye (David) | * {{M29s}}: Dead Yorkshireman Gorden Kaye (David) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Dead Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Dead Burt Reynolds (Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Dead Peter Mayhew (Mike) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Dead Bob Willis (Mike) | |||
* {{M34s}}: Dead Eddie Large | |||
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* {{M28s}}: Newly-Moustachioed Nigel Farrage (Steve) | * {{M28s}}: Newly-Moustachioed Nigel Farrage (Steve) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Beardoed Romesh Ranganathan (Mike) | * {{M29s}}: Beardoed Romesh Ranganathan (Mike) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Not-particularly-shavoed Rupert (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Beardoed Dave (proposed by Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Mustachioed Kevin Webster (?) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Long-haired Bryan May (David) | |||
* {{M34s}}: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike) | |||
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* {{M28s}}: Mentalist Donald Trump (Chris) | * {{M28s}}: Mentalist Donald Trump (Chris) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Mentalist David Icke (Mike) | * {{M29s}}: Mentalist David Icke (Mike) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Mentalist Canadian MP Nancy Ruth, who [http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/story.html?id=2646854 proposed to change the Canadian National Anthem to be gender neutral] (David) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Mentalist Andrzej the Pirate (Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Mentalist Roy Lancaster, for leaving a one-star review of Anzio's Beach Head War Cemetery despite never having gone himself (Mike) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Mentalist dead Derek Acorah (Mike) most haunted | |||
* {{M34s}}: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a Canadian | |To a Canadian | ||
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* {{M28s}}: Canadian John Candy (David) | * {{M28s}}: Canadian John Candy (David) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Canadian Justin Trudeau (David) | * {{M29s}}: Canadian Justin Trudeau (David) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Canadian MP Nancy Ruth (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Canadian Tom Smylie, Senior Veterinarian at the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Canadian Tim Horton (Steve) | |||
* {{M33s}}: (?) | |||
* {{M34s}}: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave) | |||
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|- | |- | ||
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* {{M28s}}: Silver-Haired Damon Hill (Mike) | * {{M28s}}: Silver-Haired Damon Hill (Mike) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Silver-haired David Jason (Mike) | * {{M29s}}: Silver-haired David Jason (Mike) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Silver-haired Tony Moules (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Silver haired Joe Johnson (not the snooker player) (Dave) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Silver-haired Brian Tilsley (Steve) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Silver-haired Dead David Bellamy (Dave) | |||
* {{M34s}}: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike) | |||
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* {{M28s}}: Alleged cheat Hillary Clinton (David) | * {{M28s}}: Alleged cheat Hillary Clinton (David) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Alleged cheat Mike's Indonesian collaborator, who is being investigated for academic dishonesty (Mike) | * {{M29s}}: Alleged cheat Mike's Indonesian collaborator, who is being investigated for academic dishonesty (Mike) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Alleged tennis cheat Dan Evans (David) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Alleged cheat Sir Robin Wales (Dave) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Cheats David Warner and Steve Smith (Mike) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Alleged cheat Alastair Carter (Mike) | |||
* {{M34s}}: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave) | |||
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* {{M28s}}: Angel (Mike) | * {{M28s}}: Angel (Mike) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Lord Bernard of Bourscheid (David) | * {{M29s}}: Lord Bernard of Bourscheid (David) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Synthetic Elon Musk in 2042 (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Military hero Johnson Beharry (Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Mentalist Chuka Umunna (proposed by Dave) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Sean Pertwee (Mike, but David made it happen) | |||
* {{M34s}}: (?) | |||
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* {{M28s}}: (no toast) | * {{M28s}}: (no toast) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Blondin (David) | * {{M29s}}: Blondin (David) | ||
| | * {{M30s}}: Chris Rea (Mike) (Not to be confused with the more obscure, but equally seasonal, Chris Rhea Mike toasted in {{M25}}) | ||
| Retired by agreement after {{M30}} | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a military hero | |To a military hero | ||
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* {{M28s}}: Richard the Lionheart (David) | * {{M28s}}: Richard the Lionheart (David) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Lt. Winters (Mike) | * {{M29s}}: Lt. Winters (Mike) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Dave's Grandfather (David) | |||
* {{M31s}}: General Wladyslaw Andres (David) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Pvt. B. Roberts (? Mike or David?) | |||
* {{M33s}}: CSM Hollis, V.C. (David) | |||
* {{M34s}}: The Military Hero Edward IV (David) | |||
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* {{M28s}}: {{(near) Brussels}} (Dave) | * {{M28s}}: {{(near) Brussels}} (Dave) | ||
* {{M29s}}: {{Aalborg}}, since it's only worth visiting one week a year (Mike) | * {{M29s}}: {{Aalborg}}, since it's only worth visiting one week a year (Mike) | ||
* {{M30s}}: {{Kilimanjaro}} (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: {{Grenada}} (Dave) | |||
* {{M32s}}: {{Beirut}} (Mike) | |||
* {{M33s}}: the {{Scottish Highlands}} (Mike) (this seemed idiotic in February 2020) | |||
* {{M34s}}: {{Rouen}} | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | ||
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* {{M28s}}: "That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch" (David) | * {{M28s}}: "That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch" (David) | ||
* {{M29s}}: "Justin Trudeau has been around for ages" (Mike) (see above) | * {{M29s}}: "Justin Trudeau has been around for ages" (Mike) (see above) | ||
* {{M30s}}: "I'm going to buy this cheese with prawns in it" (David) (may not have actually been said) | |||
* {{M31s}}: "I'm going to reinstate Louis' round" (David, quoting Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: "How about you just have two pizzas and some meat" (David) | |||
* {{M33s}}: “Definitely called my bus” (David, quoting Rupert) | |||
* {{M34s}}: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a noted user of public transport | |To a noted user of public transport | ||
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* {{M28s}}: Her Majesty The Queen (David) | * {{M28s}}: Her Majesty The Queen (David) | ||
* {{M29s}}: Rosa Parks (David) | * {{M29s}}: Rosa Parks (David) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Robert from "Duty Free" from {{Valletta}} (Dave) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Rupert, who crossed Sussex on route to this Colonel's break (Dave) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Greta Thunberg (Dave) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Carlos Ghosn (the CEO who escaped on bullet train) (Dave) | |||
* {{M34s}}: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|Special lifetime achievement toast | |Special lifetime achievement toast | ||
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* {{M28s}}: "Why you get off 96?" (Steve) | * {{M28s}}: "Why you get off 96?" (Steve) | ||
* {{M29s}}: "If you scientists can't save the world, us artists are going to have to get up and do something" (David) | * {{M29s}}: "If you scientists can't save the world, us artists are going to have to get up and do something" (David) | ||
* {{M30s}}: "We'll never be able to tramp 15 miles through deep snow in the time available" (David) | |||
* {{M31s}}: "This selectoid cost £3. How much did the one in Bergen cost?" (David, quoting Mike) | |||
* {{M32s}}: "Let me call my boss" (David) | |||
* {{M33s}}: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!) | |||
* {{M34s}}: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston) | |||
|- | |- | ||
| To someone who has recently left office | | To someone who has recently left office | ||
| | | | ||
* {{M29s}}: Douglas Carswell (Dave) | * {{M29s}}: Douglas Carswell (Dave) | ||
* {{M30s}}: Tim Farron (Mike) | |||
* {{M31s}}: Dominic Raab (Dave) (see above) | |||
* {{M32s}}: Fiona Onasanya (David) | |||
* {{M33s}}: Jo Swinson (?) | |||
* {{M34s}}: 73 UK MEPs (David) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
| | | To a nice German | ||
| | | | ||
* | * {{M31s}}: Nice German Claus von Stauffenberg (David) | ||
* {{M32s}}: Nice German Max Planck (David) | |||
* | * {{M33s}}: Moderately nice German Rommel (David) | ||
* | * {{M34s}}: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave) | ||
* | |||
|- | |- | ||
| A Geordie | | A Geordie | ||
| | | | ||
* | * {{M33s}}: Geordie Bill Dunn, commander of the Juno Beach Churchill AVRE 1 Charlie tank (Dave) | ||
* {{M34s}}: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave) | |||
* | |||
|- | |- | ||
| For a good choice | | For a good choice | ||
| | | | ||
* | * {{M34s}}: For a good choice, Tom (Dave) | ||
|} | |} |
Revision as of 18:16, 13 July 2021
A new regular feature of Colonel's missions, the toasts originated on Mission 15 15 Geneva. After a strenuous hike up La dole, the men surveyed the spread out landscape beneath, and were moved to mark the occasion with a toast. The chosen toastee was Mayor Boris, who had recently attained office; the vehicle of the toast, a can of Feldschloesschen lager.
Since then, at lunchtime on the excursion day, the men toast various luminaries of different types. Oddly, the toasts are not associated with any particular mascot, nor are they an application.
Mission | Location and vehicle of toast | New toast | |
---|---|---|---|
Mission 15 15 Geneva | La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager | To someone who has recently attained office | |
Mission 16 16 Athens | Lykavittos Hill | To someone who has recently died | |
Mission 17 17 36 Porto | Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port | To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed | |
Mission 18 18 Berlin | Christmas market, Alexanderplatz | To a mentalist | |
Mission 19 19 Valletta | Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and Kinnie | To a Canadian | |
Mission 20 20 Bruges | De Garre, with their Belgian home brew | To someone with silver hair | |
Mission 21 21 Budapest | János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers | To an alleged cheat | |
Mission 22 22 Lisbon | Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and Super Bock beer | To a potential eighth Colonel's man | |
Mission 23 23 Copenhagen | In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers | To a seasonal chanteur | |
Mission 24 24 Arnhem | On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer | To a military hero | |
Mission 25 25 Ghent | On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers | To an idiotic former draw destination | |
Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen | Up the Zugspitze with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on The Wank with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr | To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |
Mission 27 27 Sofia | At the summit of Vitosha with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer | To a noted user of public transport | |
Mission 28 28 Vienna |
|
| |
Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City) |
|
To someone who has recently left office | |
Mission 30 30 Bergen | Revurtjern hut,
near Fløyen |
(no new toast) | |
Mission 31 31 Kraków |
|
To a nice German | |
Mission 32 32 Rome | (no new toast) | ||
Mission 33 33 Bayeux |
|
To a Geordie | |
Mission 34 34 Skipton |
|
For a good choice |
Toastees
Toast | Toastees | Notes |
---|---|---|
To someone who has recently attained office |
|
|
To someone who has recently died |
|
|
To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed |
|
|
To a mentalist |
| |
To a Canadian |
|
|
To someone with silver hair |
|
|
To an alleged cheat |
|
|
To a potential eighth Colonel's man |
|
|
To a seasonal chanteur |
|
Retired by agreement after Mission 30 30 Bergen |
To a military hero |
|
|
To an idiotic former draw destination |
| |
To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break |
| |
To a noted user of public transport |
| |
Special lifetime achievement toast |
|
|
To a fair point made on a Colonel's break |
| |
To someone who has recently left office | ||
To a nice German | ||
A Geordie | ||
For a good choice |
|