The toasts: Difference between revisions

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!Location and vehicle of toast
!Location and vehicle of toast
!New toast
!New toast
!colspan=2|Toastees
|-
|-
|{{M15}}
|{{M15}}
Line 14: Line 13:
|La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager
|La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager
|To someone who has recently attained office
|To someone who has recently attained office
|
* New Mayor of London, [[Mayor Boris]] Johnson
|
|-
|-
|{{M16}}
|{{M16}}
Line 22: Line 18:
|Lykavittos Hill
|Lykavittos Hill
|To someone who has recently died
|To someone who has recently died
|
* New President of the USA, Barack Obama
* Dead Paul Newman
|
|-
|-
|{{M17}}
|{{M17}}
Line 31: Line 23:
|Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port
|Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port
|To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed
|To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed
|
* New President of the RSPB, Kate Humble
* Dead Farrah Fawcett
* Beardo Pelham Barton (and recruit)
|
|-
|-
|{{M18}}
|{{M18}}
Line 41: Line 28:
|Christmas market, Alexanderplatz
|Christmas market, Alexanderplatz
|To a mentalist
|To a mentalist
|
* New head of department at Leeds University
* Dead Stephen Gately
* Moustachioed Des Lynam
* Mentalist in Casa Mexicana
|
|-
|-
|{{M19}}
|{{M19}}
Line 52: Line 33:
|Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and [[Drinks#Kinnie|Kinnie]]
|Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and [[Drinks#Kinnie|Kinnie]]
|To a Canadian
|To a Canadian
|
* Julia Bradbury and Matt the Farmer (new presenters of Countryfile)
* Dead Gerard Kelly (Bunny from Extras)
* Shavoed Vernon Kay
* Mentalist Robert from Duty Free
* The Canadian Greg Rusedski
|
|-
|-
|{{M20}}
|{{M20}}
|[[Image:Garre.jpg]]
|[[Image:Garre.jpg]]
|De Garre, with their Belgian home brew
|De Garre, with their Belgian home brew
|To a man with grey hair
|To someone with silver hair
|
* Mike (new lecturer)
* Dead Leslie Nielsen
* Shavoed Leslie Nielsen
* Mentalist Leslie Nielsen
* The Canadian Leslie Nielsen
* The Silver Haired Leslie Nielsen
|
|-
|-
|{{M21}}
|{{M21}}
Line 77: Line 43:
|János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers
|János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers
|To an alleged cheat
|To an alleged cheat
|
* Christophe Moules (new doctor)
* Dead Bubba Smith
* Mutton Chopsoed Chester Arthur
* The mentalist in Comics whom we failed to get a destination from
* The Canadian William Shatner
* The Silver Haired Phillip Schofield
|
* The alleged cheat S X Ma
|-
|-
|{{M22}}
|{{M22}}
Line 91: Line 48:
|Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and [[Drinks#Super_Bock_beer|Super Bock beer]]
|Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and [[Drinks#Super_Bock_beer|Super Bock beer]]
|To a potential [[eighth Colonel's man]]
|To a potential [[eighth Colonel's man]]
|
* Woy Hodgson, England manager
* Dead Frank Carson
* Beardo
* The mentalist Brian Paddick
* The Canadian Alain Robidoux
* The Platinum Blonde [[Mayor Boris]] Johnson
|
* The alleged cheat Dwain Chambers
* The potential eighth Colonel's man [[Jon Voight]]
|-
|-
|{{M23}}
|{{M23}}
Line 106: Line 53:
|In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers
|In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers
|To a seasonal chanteur
|To a seasonal chanteur
|
* Mark Carney, new (Canadian) Governor of the Bank of England
* Dead Clive Dunn
* Beardo Christoffer from the Bishop's Arms, Malmö
* The mentalist restauranteur (and alleged purchaser of the world's entire supply of Donkey Cheese) Novak Djoković
* The Canadian Mike Nolan
* Silver-haired Jonathan Edwards
|
* The cheat Tecwen Whittock
* The potential eighth Colonel's man (dead) Don Ameche
* Christmas pop smash artist (mentalist) Mr. Blobby
|-
|-
|{{M24}}
|{{M24}}
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|On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer
|On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer
|To a military hero
|To a military hero
|
* Tony Abbot, the new Prime Minister of Australia (proposed by David)
* Dead Seamus Heaney (by Dave)
* Moustachio Allan Border (Steve)
* Mentalist Boris Johnson (Dave)
* The Canadian Michael J Fox (David)
* The Silver-haired tractor driver Gary Lineker (Dave)
|
* The alleged cheat Stephen Lee (David)
* The potential eighth colonel's man Devon Malcolm (David)
* Terry Wogan, seasonal singer, for his timeless "Floral Dance" (Steve)
* The military hero Lt Col John Frost (David)
|-
|-
|{{M25}}
|{{M25}}
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|On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers
|On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers
|To an idiotic former draw destination
|To an idiotic former draw destination
|
* Ron Dennis, new director of McLaren (proposed by Mike)
* Dead Roger Lloyd Pack (by David)
* Beardo Hideous Orangutan - from Fawlty Towers (Steve)
* Mentalist David Blaine (Mike)
* The Canadian Dan Aykroyd (Mike)
* The Silver-haired racing driver Kimi Raikkonen (Dave/Steve)
|
* The alleged cheat Francois Hollande (Steve)
* The potential eighth colonel's man Keith (David)
* Chris Rhea, seasonal singer (Mike)
* The military hero Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington (David)
* The idiotic former destination {{Skern Lodge}} (Mike)
|-
|-
|{{M26}}
|{{M26}}
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|Up the [[Zugspitze]] with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on [[The Wank]] with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr  
|Up the [[Zugspitze]] with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on [[The Wank]] with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr  
|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break
|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break
|
Zugspitze:
* The Dead Garibaldi (proposed by David)
* The potential eighth Colonel's Man, [That Dog] (by David)
* The Military Hero, The Red Baron (David)
* The Silver-haired Harry Gration (Steve)
* The Shavoed Jon Lee from S Club 7 (Mike)
* The idiotic former destination {{Steamboat Springs}}, as a winter destination (Mike)
|
On the way to Gamschütte:
* The Mentalist Putin (David)
* The Seasonal Singer Mel Smith (Steve, for 'Rocking Around The Christmas Tree')
* The Alleged Cheats Blatter & FIFA (Mike)
* The Canadian Bill Werburniuk (Mike)
* The newly-appointed Head of DHS research funding and replacement for Leland, Michelle Colby (Mike)
* A demented thing said on a break: "Dave and I will see you later!" (David / Mike)
|-
|-
|{{M27}}
|{{M27}}
|[[Image:Sofia_Toast.jpg]]
|[[Image:Sofia_Toast.jpg]]
|At the summit of [[Vitosha]] with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer
|At the summit of [[Vitosha]] with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer
|To a user, or prolific user, of public transport
|To a noted user of public transport
|
* The Moustachioed Samarjit Patnaik (proposed by Steve)
* The Alleged Cheats The New England Patriots (by Mike)
* The Mentalist Jeremy Corbyn (David)
* The Military Hero, Lt. Colonel Wilfrith Elstob, V.C. (Mike)
* The newly-appointed Shadow International Development Secretary Diane Abbott (David)
* A demented thing said on a break: "You, fuck you, you are a piece of fucking shit" (Mike)
* The Dead Cilla Black (Mike)
|
* The Silver-haired Geoffrey from Rainbow (Steve)
* The public transport user, Angel (Dave, for helping us navigate the buses to the base of the mountain)
* The Canadian Rachel McAdams (Mike)
* The potential eighth Colonel's Man, [[1st_Volunteer_Battalion|Fabrizio Figer / Finger]] (Dave)
* The idiotic former destination {{Perpignan}} (Mike)
* The Seasonal Chanteurs East 17 (Steve, for 'Stay Another Day')
|-
|-
|{{M28}}
|{{M28}}
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* A special lifetime achievement toast   
* A special lifetime achievement toast   
* To a fair point made on a Colonel's break
* To a fair point made on a Colonel's break
|
* The Lifetime Achievements of Terry Wogan (proposed by Mike)
* The newly-Moustachioed Nigel Farrage (by Steve)
* The Dead Ronnie Corbett (David)
* The Canadian John Candy (David)
* The Silver-Haired Damon Hill (Mike)
* The Military Hero Richard the Lionheart (David)
* The prolific user of Public Transport Her Majesty The Queen (David)
|
* The idiotic Former Destination {{(near) Brussels}} (Dave)
* The newly-appointed Prime Minister Theresa May (Mike)
* The Mentalist Donald Trump (Chris)
* The alleged cheat Hillary Clinton (David)
* A demented thing said on a break: "That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch" (David)
* A fair point made on a break: "Why you get off 96?" (Steve)
* The potential 8th Colonel's Man Angel (Mike)
|-
|-
|{{M29}}
|{{M29}}
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* El Compañero, a tapas bar in Luxembourg City
* El Compañero, a tapas bar in Luxembourg City
| To someone who has recently left office
| To someone who has recently left office
|
* The alleged cheat Mike's Indonesian collaborator, who is being investigated for academic dishonesty (proposed by Mike)
* The newly-appointed UK representative to the International Arctic Science Committee, Steve (by Dave)
* The bearded Romesh Ranganathan (Mike)
* The dead Gordon Kaye (David)
* The Canadian Justin Trudeau (David)
* A demented thing said on a break "Justin Trudeau has been around for ages" (Mike)
* The potential 8th Colonel's Man Lord Bernard of Bourscheid (David)
* The seasonal chanteur Blondin (David)
|
* The military hero Lt. Winters (Mike)
* The silver-haired David Jason (Mike)
* The recently-left-office Douglas Carswell (Dave)
* The prolific user of Public Transport Rosa Parks (David)
* The mentallist David Icke (Mike)
* A fair point made on a break: "If you scientists can't save the world, us artists are going to have to get up and do something" (David)
* The idiotic Former Destination {{Aalborg}}, since it can only be visited one week a year (Mike)
|-
|-
|{{M30}}
|{{M30}}
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near Fløyen
near Fløyen
| (no new toast)
| (no new toast)
|
* A fair point made on a break: "We'll never be able to tramp 15 miles through deep snow in the time available" (proposed by David)
* The dead Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin (Mike)
* The potential 8th Colonel's Man Synthetic Elon Musk in 2042 (Mike)
* The military hero Dave's Grandfather (David)
* The newly-appointed councillor for Gospel Oak, Jenny (Rupert)
* The Canadian MP Nancy Ruth, famous for [http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/story.html?id=2646854 proposing to change the Canadian National Anthem to be gender neutral] (Mike)
* The mentallist Canadian MP Nancy Ruth (David)
|
* A demented thing said on a break "I'm going to buy this cheese with prawns in it" (David) (may not have actually been said)
* The prolific user of Public Transport Robert from {{Valletta}} (Dave)
* The alleged cheat tennis player Dan Evans (David)
* The not-particularly-shavoed Rupert (Mike)
* The recently-left-office Tim Farron (Mike)
* The idiotic Former Destination {{Kilimanjaro}} (Mike)
* The seasonal chanteur Chris Rea (Mike)
* The silver-haired Tony Moules (Mike)
|-
|-
|{{M31}}
|{{M31}}
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* At the bottom of the Wieliczka Salt Mine
* At the bottom of the Wieliczka Salt Mine
* On the toastamead of the Airbnb
* On the toastamead of the Airbnb
| A nice German
| To a nice German
|
* The bearded Dave (proposed by Mike)
* Dead Burt Reynolds (by Mike)
* The prolific user of public transport, who crossed Sussex on route to this Colonel's break, Rupert (Dave)
* A demented thing said on a Colonel's break (by Mike): "I'm going to reinstate Louis' round" (David)
* A fair point said on a Colonel's break (by Mike): "This selectoid cost £3. How much did the one in Bergen cost?" (David)
* The mentalist Andrej the Pirate (Mike)
* The idiotic former destination {{Grenada}} (Dave)
|
* The nice German Claus von Stauffenberg (David)
* The newly appointed Brexit minister Dominic Raab (Dave)
* The recently-left-office Dominic Raab (Dave)
* The potential 8th Colonel's Man (the military hero) Johnson Beharry (Mike)
* The alleged cheat Sir Robin Wales (Dave)
* The military hero General Wladyslaw Andres (David)
* The Canadian Tom Smylie, Senior Veterinarian at the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (Mike)
* The silver haired Joe Johnson (not the snooker player) (Dave)
|-
|-
|{{M32}}
|{{M32}}
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* On a rock at the end of {{Anzio}}, until the tide came in
* On a rock at the end of {{Anzio}}, until the tide came in
| (no new toast)
| (no new toast)
|
* The potential 8th Colonel's Man Chuka Umunna (proposed by Dave)
 
* The military hero Pvt. B. Roberts (by ? Mike or David?)
* The dead Peter Mayhew (Mike)
* The mustachioed Kevin Webster (?)
* The mentalist Roy Lancaster, one-star reviewer of Anzio's Beach Head War Cemetery despite never having gone himself (Mike)
* A fair point said on a Colonel's break: "Let me call my boss" (David)
* The Canadian Tim Horton (Steve)
|
* The silver-haired Brian Tilsley (Steve)
* A demented thing said on a Colonel's break: "How about you just have two pizzas and some meat" (David)
* The nice German Max Planck (David)
* The prolific user of public transport Greta Thunberg (Dave)
* The idiotic former destination {{Beirut}} (Mike)
* The cheats David Warner and Steve Smith (Mike)
* The newly-appointed MEP for South West England Anne Widdicombe (Mike)
* The recently-left-office Fiona Onasanya (David)
|-
|-
|{{M33}}
|{{M33}}
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* The American Cemetery
* The American Cemetery
* Arromanches
* Arromanches
| A Geordie
| To a Geordie
|
* The dead Bob Willis (Mike)
* A prolific user of public transport Carlos Ghosn (the CEO who escaped on bullet train) (Dave)
* The recently-left-office Jo Swinson (?)
* The long-haired Bryan May (David)
* The silver-haired (and dead) David Bellamy (Dave)
* The alleged cheat Alastair Carter (Mike)
* A demented thing someone has said on a break “Definitely called my bus” (David)
* A moderately nice German Rommel (David)
|
* An idiotic former destination the {{Scottish Highlands}} (Mike)
* The military hero CSM Hollis VC (David)
* The mentalist dead Derek Acorah (Mike) most haunted
* The potential 8th Colonel's Man Sean Pertwee (Mike, but David made it happen)
* The Geordie Bill Dunn, commander of the Juno Beach Churchill AVRE 1 Charlie tank (Dave)
* A fair point made “you can use your magic heart” (Mike, about a game of Bang!)
* The newly attained office Laura Ferris, MP of Newbury (David)
|-
|-
|{{M34}}
|{{M34}}
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* Skipton Castle, overlooking the waterfall  
* Skipton Castle, overlooking the waterfall  
| For a good choice
| For a good choice
(a temporary new toast)
|-
|{{M35}}
|[[Image:Kendal_Toast_Scout_Scar.jpg]]
|
* In the living room and kitchen
* By the lake on the way down from Helvellyn
* Pedro's Casa restaurant
* On a memorial bench near Scout Scar
| To a great invention
|-
|{{M36}}
|
|
* At the Waterworks micropub
* At the Oast
* By the Hidden Truths sculpture on the 1066 Country Walk
* At the Battle Tap
* At the Three Legs Taproom
| To a very funny thing 
To the [[Stammtisch|stammtisch]] 
|-
|{{M37}}
|
|
* In the Fabrika Gastro Pub
* At the top of the mountain
* On the old bobsled track
* In the Celtic Pub
| * A special lifetime achievement toast 
* To a prolific user of private transport
|-
|{{M38}}
|
|
* On a bench near a church
* A waterfall on Vágar island
* At the Beer Hub
* At the highest point on the Faroe Islands
* At the AirBnB
| * For recently losing weight
|}
 
 
== Toastees ==
 
 
{|
!Toast
!Toastees
!Notes
|-
|To someone who has recently attained office
|
* {{M15s}}: New Mayor of London, [[Mayor Boris]] Johnson
* {{M16s}}: New President of the USA, Barack Obama
* {{M17s}}: New President of the RSPB, Kate Humble
* {{M18s}}: New head of department at Leeds University
* {{M19s}}: New presenters of Countryfile Julia Bradbury and Matt the Farmer
* {{M20s}}: New Lecturer Mike
* {{M21s}}: New Doctor Christophe Moules
* {{M22s}}: Woy Hodgson, England manager
* {{M23s}}: New Canadian Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney
* {{M24s}}: New Prime Minister of Australia Tony Abbott (proposed by David)
* {{M25s}}: New director of McLaren Ron Dennis (Mike)
* {{M26s}}: New Head of DHS research funding and replacement for Leland, Michelle Colby (Mike)
* {{M27s}}: New Shadow International Development Secretary Diane Abbott (David)
* {{M28s}}: New Mentalist Prime Minister Theresa May (Mike)
* {{M29s}}: New UK representative to the International Arctic Science Committee, Steve (Dave)
* {{M30s}}: New councillor for Gospel Oak, Jenny (Rupert)
* {{M31s}}: New Brexit minister Dominic Raab (Dave)
* {{M32s}}: New MEP for South West England Ann Widdecombe (Mike)
* {{M33s}}: New MP for Newbury Laura Ferris (David)
* {{M34s}}: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?)
* {{M35s}}: Newly appointed Second Dog of Steve's household Skye a.k.a. Victor (Dave)
* {{M36s}}: New Chairman of Yorkshire County Cricket Club Lord Patel (David)
* {{M37s}}: New King, King Charles III (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: New Prime Minister of Italy, Georgia Meloni (David)
* {{M38s}}: New host of the Weakest Link, Romesh Ranganathan (Mike)
|
|-
|To someone who has recently died
|
* {{M16s}}: Dead Paul Newman
* {{M17s}}: Dead Farrah Fawcett
* {{M18s}}: Dead Stephen Gately
* {{M19s}}: Dead Gerard Kelly (Bunny from Extras)
* {{M20s}}: Dead Leslie Nielsen
* {{M21s}}: Dead Bubba Smith
* {{M22s}}: Dead Frank Carson
* {{M23s}}: Dead Clive Dunn
* {{M24s}}: Dead Seamus Heaney (Dave)
* {{M25s}}: Dead Roger Lloyd Pack (David)
* {{M26s}}: Dead Garibaldi (David)
* {{M27s}}: Dead Cilla Black (Mike)
* {{M28s}}: Dead Ronnie Corbett (David)
* {{M29s}}: Dead Yorkshireman Gorden Kaye (David)
* {{M30s}}: Dead Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: Dead Burt Reynolds (Mike)
* {{M32s}}: Dead Peter Mayhew (Mike)
* {{M33s}}: Dead Bob Willis (Mike)
* {{M34s}}: Dead Eddie Large
* {{M35s}}: Dead Jackie Mason (David)
* {{M36s}}: Dead Shane Warne (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: Dead Mrs McClusky, dying the same day as the Queen (David)
* {{M38s}}: Dead Mike Yarwood (Mike)
|
|-
|To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed
|
* {{M17s}}: Beardo Pelham Barton (and recruit)
* {{M18s}}: Moustachioed Des Lynam
* {{M19s}}: Shavoed Vernon Kay
* {{M20s}}: Shavoed Leslie Nielsen
* {{M21s}}: Mutton Chopsoed Chester Arthur
* {{M22s}}: ?
* {{M23s}}: Beardo Christoffer from the Bishop's Arms, Malmö
* {{M24s}}: Moustachioed Allan Border (Steve)
* {{M25s}}: Beardo Hideous Orangutan - from Fawlty Towers (Steve)
* {{M26s}}: Shavoed Jon Lee from S Club 7 (Mike)
* {{M27s}}: Moustachioed Samarjit Patnaik (Steve)
* {{M28s}}: Newly-Moustachioed Nigel Farrage (Steve)
* {{M29s}}: Beardoed Romesh Ranganathan (Mike)
* {{M30s}}: Not-particularly-shavoed Rupert (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: Beardoed Dave (proposed by Mike)
* {{M32s}}: Mustachioed Kevin Webster (?)
* {{M33s}}: Long-haired Bryan May (David)
* {{M34s}}: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike)
* {{M35s}}: Mustachioed Paul Chuckle (Mike)
* {{M36s}}: Mustachioed CAMRA guy in the Waterworks (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: Bearded Jack Black, recently spotted on Hollywood Boulevard (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: Beardoed Most of the Vikings (Mike)
|
|-
|To a mentalist
|
* {{M18s}}: Mentalist in Casa Mexicana
* {{M19s}}: Mentalist Robert from Duty Free
* {{M20s}}: Mentalist Leslie Nielsen
* {{M21s}}: The mentalist in Comics whom we failed to get a destination from
* {{M22s}}: Mentalist Brian Paddick
* {{M23s}}: Mentalist restauranteur (and alleged purchaser of the world's entire supply of Donkey Cheese) Novak Djoković
* {{M24s}}: Mentalist Boris Johnson (Dave)
* {{M25s}}: Mentalist David Blaine (Mike)
* {{M26s}}: Mentalist Putin (David)
* {{M27s}}: Mentalist Jeremy Corbyn (David)
* {{M28s}}: Mentalist Donald Trump (Chris)
* {{M29s}}: Mentalist David Icke (Mike)
* {{M30s}}: Mentalist Canadian MP Nancy Ruth, who [http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/story.html?id=2646854 proposed to change the Canadian National Anthem to be gender neutral] (David)
* {{M31s}}: Mentalist Andrzej the Pirate (Mike)
* {{M32s}}: Mentalist Roy Lancaster, for leaving a one-star review of Anzio's Beach Head War Cemetery despite never having gone himself (Mike)
* {{M33s}}: Mentalist dead Derek Acorah (Mike) most haunted
* {{M34s}}: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike)
* {{M35s}}: Mentalist Caligula (David)
* {{M36s}}: Mentalist King Harold for fighting a battle at Stamford Bridge and then walking all the way to Battle (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: Mentalists two Boris Vishnevskys, who ran for election against the real Boris Vishnevsky in St Petersburg (David)
* {{M38s}}: Mentalist who saw reported a ritual mass murder to the Lincolnshire Police but [it was a yoga class|https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339] (Dave)
 
|-
|To a Canadian
|
* {{M19s}}: Canadian Greg Rusedski
* {{M20s}}: Canadian Leslie Nielsen
* {{M21s}}: Canadian William Shatner
* {{M22s}}: Canadian Alain Robidoux
* {{M23s}}: Canadian Mike Nolan
* {{M24s}}: Canadian Michael J Fox (David)
* {{M25s}}: Canadian Dan Aykroyd (Mike)
* {{M26s}}: Canadian Bill Werburniuk (Mike)
* {{M27s}}: Canadian Rachel McAdams (Mike)
* {{M28s}}: Canadian John Candy (David)
* {{M29s}}: Canadian Justin Trudeau (David)
* {{M30s}}: Canadian MP Nancy Ruth (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: Canadian Tom Smylie, Senior Veterinarian at the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (Mike)
* {{M32s}}: Canadian Tim Horton (Steve)
* {{M33s}}: (?)
* {{M34s}}: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave)
* {{M35s}}: Canadian-born Emma Raducanu (Chris)
* {{M36s}}: Canadian mentalist Elon Musk (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: Canadian Dan Olsen, YouTuber and cryptocurrency hater (Dave)
* {{M38s}}: Canadian comedy troupe The Kids In The Hall (Rupert)
|
|-
|To someone with silver hair
|
* {{M20s}}: Silver Haired Leslie Nielsen
* {{M21s}}: Silver Haired Phillip Schofield
* {{M22s}}: Platinum Blonde [[Mayor Boris]] Johnson
* {{M23s}}: Silver Haired Jonathan Edwards
* {{M24s}}: Silver-haired tractor driver Gary Lineker (Dave)
* {{M25s}}: Silver-haired racing driver Kimi Raikkonen (Dave/Steve)
* {{M26s}}: Silver-haired Harry Gration (Steve)
* {{M27s}}: Silver-haired Geoffrey from Rainbow (Steve)
* {{M28s}}: Silver-Haired Damon Hill (Mike)
* {{M29s}}: Silver-haired David Jason (Mike)
* {{M30s}}: Silver-haired Tony Moules (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: Silver haired Joe Johnson (not the snooker player) (Dave)
* {{M32s}}: Silver-haired Brian Tilsley (Steve)
* {{M33s}}: Silver-haired Dead David Bellamy (Dave)
* {{M34s}}: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike)
* {{M35s}}: Partially silver-haired Luna (Steve)
* {{M36s}}: Silver-haired HM The Queen, in her Jubilee year (David)
* {{M37s}}: Intermittently silver-haired (and mental) Tandy (Dave)
* {{M38s}}: Raven-haired #3 from Montenegro (Dave)
|
|-
|To an alleged cheat
|
* {{M21s}}: Alleged cheat S X Ma
* {{M22s}}: Alleged ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwain_Chambers|and since reformed]]) cheat Dwain Chambers
* {{M23s}}: Cheat Tecwen Whittock
* {{M24s}}: Alleged cheat Stephen Lee (David)
* {{M25s}}: Alleged cheat François Hollande (Steve)
* {{M26s}}: Alleged cheats Blatter & FIFA (Mike)
* {{M27s}}: Alleged cheats The New England Patriots (Mike)
* {{M28s}}: Alleged cheat Hillary Clinton (David)
* {{M29s}}: Alleged cheat Mike's Indonesian collaborator, who is being investigated for academic dishonesty (Mike)
* {{M30s}}: Alleged tennis cheat Dan Evans (David)
* {{M31s}}: Alleged cheat Sir Robin Wales (Dave)
* {{M32s}}: Cheats David Warner and Steve Smith (Mike)
* {{M33s}}: Alleged cheat Alastair Carter (Mike)
* {{M34s}}: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave)
* {{M35s}}: Love cheat Matt Hancock (David, based on Mike's idea)
* {{M36s}}: Alleged cheat Christian Horner (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: Alleged cheat chess grandmaster Hans Niemann (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: Alleged cheat Hunter Biden (David)
|
|-
|To a potential [[eighth Colonel's man]]
|
* {{M22s}}: [[Jon Voight]]
* {{M23s}}: Dead Don Ameche
* {{M24s}}: Devon Malcolm (David)
* {{M25s}}: Keith (David)
* {{M26s}}: [That Dog] (David)
* {{M27s}}: [[1st_Volunteer_Battalion|Fabrizio Figer / Finger]] (Dave)
* {{M28s}}: Angel (Mike)
* {{M29s}}: Lord Bernard of Bourscheid (David)
* {{M30s}}: Synthetic Elon Musk in 2042 (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: Military hero Johnson Beharry (Mike)
* {{M32s}}: Mentalist Chuka Umunna (proposed by Dave)
* {{M33s}}: Sean Pertwee (Mike, but David made it happen)
* {{M34s}}: Luna (David)
* {{M35s}}: Pate from Soccer Boss (Mike & David)
* {{M36s}}: The red-bearded Alan of Richmond (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: Hank, Dave's plasterer (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: The Faroese Rhod Gilbert (Mike)
|
|-
|To a seasonal chanteur
|
* {{M23s}}: Mentalist Christmas pop smash artist Mr. Blobby
* {{M24s}}: Terry Wogan, for his timeless "Floral Dance" (Steve)
* {{M25s}}: Chris Rhea (Mike)
* {{M26s}}: Mel Smith, for 'Rocking Around The Christmas Tree' (Steve)
* {{M27s}}: East 17, for 'Stay Another Day' (Steve)
* {{M28s}}: (no toast)
* {{M29s}}: Blondin (David)
* {{M30s}}: Chris Rea (Mike) (Not to be confused with the more obscure, but equally seasonal, Chris Rhea Mike toasted in {{M25}})
| Retired by agreement after {{M30}}
|-
|To a military hero
|
* {{M24s}}: Lt Col John Frost (David)
* {{M25s}}: Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington (David)
* {{M26s}}: The Red Baron (David)
* {{M27s}}: Lt. Colonel Wilfrith Elstob, V.C. (Mike)
* {{M28s}}: Richard the Lionheart (David)
* {{M29s}}: Lt. Winters (Mike)
* {{M30s}}: Dave's Grandfather (David)
* {{M31s}}: General Wladyslaw Andres (David)
* {{M32s}}: Pvt. B. Roberts (? Mike or David?)
* {{M33s}}: CSM Hollis, V.C. (David)
* {{M34s}}: Edward IV (David)
* {{M35s}}: Pen Farthing, for evacuating a plane full of dogs from Afghanistan (Mike)
* {{M36s}}: Volodymyr Zelensky (David)
* {{M37s}}: Captain Bligh (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: Viking Hero and early visitor to England Ragnar Lodbok (Dave)
|
|-
|To an idiotic former draw destination
|
* {{M25s}}: {{Skern Lodge}} (Mike)
* {{M26s}}: {{Steamboat Springs}}, as a winter destination (Mike)
* {{M27s}}: {{Perpignan}} (Mike)
* {{M28s}}: {{(near) Brussels}} (Dave)
* {{M29s}}: {{Aalborg}}, since it's only worth visiting one week a year (Mike)
* {{M30s}}: {{Kilimanjaro}} (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: {{Grenada}} (Dave)
* {{M32s}}: {{Beirut}} (Mike)
* {{M33s}}: the {{Scottish Highlands}} (Mike) (this seemed idiotic in January 2020)
* {{M34s}}: {{Rouen}}
* {{M35s}}: {{Alice Springs}} (Dave)
* {{M36s}}: {{Taranto}} (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: {{Dugi Otok}} (Davod)
* {{M38s}}: {{Seville}}, knowing it would be vetoed (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: {{Tórshavn}} in September (by general acclaim)
|-
|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break
|
* {{M26s}}: "Dave and I will see you later!" (David / Mike)
* {{M27s}}: "You, fuck you, you are a piece of fucking shit" (Mike)
* {{M28s}}: "That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch" (David)
* {{M29s}}: "Justin Trudeau has been around for ages" (Mike) (see above)
* {{M30s}}: "I'm going to buy this cheese with prawns in it" (David) (may not have actually been said)
* {{M31s}}: "I'm going to reinstate Louis' round" (David, quoting Mike)
* {{M32s}}: "How about you just have two pizzas and some meat" (David)
* {{M33s}}: “Definitely called my bus” (David, quoting Rupert)
* {{M34s}}: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike)
* {{M35s}}: That we should descend Helvellyn on Swirral Edge (David)
* {{M36s}}: "Dr Wine is available everywhere" (David)
* {{M37s}}: "Let's use [path up the mountain] K2 instead of H1" (David)
* {{M38s}}: "This beer is brewed with sheep shit" (David)
|-
|To a noted user of public transport
|
* {{M27s}}: Angel, for helping us navigate the buses to the base of the mountain (Dave)
* {{M28s}}: Her Majesty The Queen (David)
* {{M29s}}: Rosa Parks (David)
* {{M30s}}: Robert from "Duty Free" from {{Valletta}} (Dave)
* {{M31s}}: Rupert, who crossed Sussex on route to this Colonel's break (Dave)
* {{M32s}}: Greta Thunberg (Dave)
* {{M33s}}: Carlos Ghosn (the CEO who escaped on bullet train) (Dave)
* {{M34s}}: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave)
* {{M35s}}: Prolific user of Public Footpaths Cumbrian Brian Glover? (Mike)
* {{M36s}}: Recent prolific user of public transport Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe (Dave)
* {{M36s}}: Prolific user of Articulated Lorries David Cameron (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: The world heads of state taking a bus to the Queen's funeral (David)
* {{M38s}}: The Montenegrin Women's Football Team (Mike)
|-
|Special lifetime achievement toast
|
* {{M28s}}: The Lifetime Achievements of Terry Wogan (Mike)
* {{M37s}}: The Lifetime Achievements of The Queen (Mike)
|
|-
|To a fair point made on a Colonel's break
|
* {{M28s}}: "Why you get off 96?" (Steve)
* {{M29s}}: "If you scientists can't save the world, us artists are going to have to get up and do something" (David)
* {{M30s}}: "We'll never be able to tramp 15 miles through deep snow in the time available" (David)
* {{M31s}}: "This selectoid cost £3. How much did the one in Bergen cost?" (David, quoting Mike)
* {{M32s}}: "Let me call my boss" (David)
* {{M33s}}: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!)
* {{M34s}}: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston)
* {{M35s}}: That the staff at the Fell Bar should have considered the size of their pizzas when buying tables (Dave)
* {{M36s}}: "There's a muddy patch coming up. I couldn't find a way around it." (Dave, quoting a runner we met on a path)
* {{M37s}}: "Well I just toasted Zoltan" (Dave & David)
* {{M38s}}: "We will experience turbulence during landing" (David)
|-
| To someone who has recently left office
|
* {{M29s}}: Douglas Carswell (Dave)
* {{M30s}}: Tim Farron (Mike)
* {{M31s}}: Dominic Raab (Dave) (see above)
* {{M32s}}: Fiona Onasanya (David)
* {{M33s}}: Jo Swinson (?)
* {{M34s}}: 73 UK MEPs (David)
* {{M35s}}: The mentalist Mike Pence (Mike)
* {{M36s}}: Marina Osvyannikova, for presenting an anti-war placard on Russian TV news (Dave)
* {{M37s}}: Richard Osman, co-host of Pointless (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: Hansi Flick, former manager of the German football team (Mike)
|
|-
| To a nice German
|
* {{M31s}}: Nice German Claus von Stauffenberg (David)
* {{M32s}}: Nice German Max Planck (David)
* {{M33s}}: Moderately nice German Rommel (David)
* {{M34s}}: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave)
* {{M35s}}: Nice German Thomas Muller, for missing an open goal against England in the World Cup (Mike)
* {{M36s}}: Nicer than expected German Sebastian Vettel, for refusing to compete in the Russian GP (David)
* {{M37s}}: Nice German Zoran, Mike's Taekwondo sparring partner (Mike)
* {{M38s}}: Nice German Selina from Dave's Morris Side (Dave)
 
|-
| A Geordie
|
* {{M33s}}: Geordie Bill Dunn, commander of the Juno Beach Churchill AVRE 1 Charlie tank (Dave)
* {{M34s}}: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave)
* {{M35s}}: The Geordies dressed as white mammals (goats we think, or possibly sheep or cows) we met climbing Helvellyn (Dave)
* {{M36s}}: The Geordie Peter Beardsley (Mike)
| Retired by {{Big Rich Lionheart}} after {{M37}}
|-
| For a good choice
|
* {{M34s}}: For a good choice, Tom (Dave)
|-
| To a great invention
|
* {{M35s}}: The invention of the two-step process for cleaning a Vitoshan Dog with leaves and Dirt (Steve)
* {{M36s}}: The Oast to dry hops (Dave)
* {{M37s}}: The concrete bobsled run (Dave)
* {{M38s}}: Roasting malt with sheep dung to make stout (Dave)
|-
| To a very funny thing
|
* {{M36s}}: A very funny thing Italy beating Wales in the Six Nations (David) (not universally approved)
* {{M37s}}: A very funny thing getting knocked back in both Bosnian and Italian trying to get a destination from a mentalist (David)
* {{M38s}}: A very funny thing {{Ferdinand McFatCat}}'s guts squeezed out (David)
|-
| To the [[Stammtisch|stammtisch]]
|
* {{M36s}}: To the first Stammtisch in a round room* (David)
|-
| To a noted user of private transport
|
|
* The dead Eddie Large
* {{M37s}}: To David Schultz, for not wearing mask on plane (Mike)
* A prolific user of private transport Dominic Cummings
|-
* The recently-gained-office Graham Medley, Chair of SPI-M
| For recently losing weight
* The Canadian ? (Dave)
* An idiotic former destination {{Rouen}}
* The potential 8th Colonel's man Luna (David)
* The bearded dead Charles Darwin (Mike)
* A fair point made "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve)
* A demented thing said "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike)
|
|
* The Military Hero Edward IV (David)
* {{M38s}}: To {{Ferdinand McFatCat}} (David)
* The silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike)
* The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave)
* A nice German Alexander Rothenburg, a former lab partner (Dave)
* The recently-left-office 73 UK MEPs (David)
* The mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike)
* The alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave)
* For a good choice, Tom (Dave)
|}
|}
<nowiki>*</nowiki>He means a bollock

Latest revision as of 12:46, 7 October 2023

A new regular feature of Colonel's missions, the toasts originated on Mission 15 15 Geneva. After a strenuous hike up La dole, the men surveyed the spread out landscape beneath, and were moved to mark the occasion with a toast. The chosen toastee was Mayor Boris, who had recently attained office; the vehicle of the toast, a can of Feldschloesschen lager.

Since then, at lunchtime on the excursion day, the men toast various luminaries of different types. Oddly, the toasts are not associated with any particular mascot, nor are they an application.

Mission Location and vehicle of toast New toast
Mission 15 15 Geneva La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager To someone who has recently attained office
Mission 16 16 Athens Lykavittos Hill To someone who has recently died
Mission 17 17 36 Porto Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed
Mission 18 18 Berlin Christmas market, Alexanderplatz To a mentalist
Mission 19 19 Valletta Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and Kinnie To a Canadian
Mission 20 20 Bruges De Garre, with their Belgian home brew To someone with silver hair
Mission 21 21 Budapest János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers To an alleged cheat
Mission 22 22 Lisbon Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and Super Bock beer To a potential eighth Colonel's man
Mission 23 23 Copenhagen In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers To a seasonal chanteur
Mission 24 24 Arnhem On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer To a military hero
Mission 25 25 Ghent On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers To an idiotic former draw destination
Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen

Up the Zugspitze with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on The Wank with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break
Mission 27 27 Sofia At the summit of Vitosha with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer To a noted user of public transport
Mission 28 28 Vienna

  • On a bench in the vineyards of Unterloiben
  • On the wall beneath Richard the Lionheart's castle
  • At the bottom of the hill beneath the castle, amongst historical figures
  • A special lifetime achievement toast
  • To a fair point made on a Colonel's break
Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City)
  • In the car park of Match, Niederanven
  • At the top of Bourscheid Castle's central tower
  • El Compañero, a tapas bar in Luxembourg City
 To someone who has recently left office
Mission 30 30 Bergen Revurtjern hut,

near Fløyen

(no new toast)
Mission 31 31 Kraków

  • The dining room of the Airbnb
  • The basement bar C.K. Browar with various beers including a selectoid
  • At the bottom of the Wieliczka Salt Mine
  • On the toastamead of the Airbnb
 To a nice German
Mission 32 32 Rome
  • The Airbnb's upstairs patio
  • On a rock at the end of Anzio, until the tide came in
 (no new toast)
Mission 33 33 Bayeux
  • The Airbnb's dining table
  • La Conquerant pub
  • Bar Brasserie La Din’Nette
  • Pointe du Hoc
  • The American Cemetery
  • Arromanches
 To a Geordie
Mission 34 34 Skipton

  • The Boathouse
  • The summit of Ingleborough
  • Skipton Castle, overlooking the waterfall
 For a good choice
Mission 35 35 Kendal
  • In the living room and kitchen
  • By the lake on the way down from Helvellyn
  • Pedro's Casa restaurant
  • On a memorial bench near Scout Scar
 To a great invention
Mission 36 36 Rye
  • At the Waterworks micropub
  • At the Oast
  • By the Hidden Truths sculpture on the 1066 Country Walk
  • At the Battle Tap
  • At the Three Legs Taproom
 To a very funny thing

To the stammtisch

Mission 37 34 37 Sarajevo
  • In the Fabrika Gastro Pub
  • At the top of the mountain
  • On the old bobsled track
  • In the Celtic Pub
 * A special lifetime achievement toast
  • To a prolific user of private transport
Mission 38 38 Tórshavn
  • On a bench near a church
  • A waterfall on Vágar island
  • At the Beer Hub
  • At the highest point on the Faroe Islands
  • At the AirBnB
 * For recently losing weight


Toastees

Toast Toastees Notes
To someone who has recently attained office
  • 15: New Mayor of London, Mayor Boris Johnson
  • 16: New President of the USA, Barack Obama
  • 17: New President of the RSPB, Kate Humble
  • 18: New head of department at Leeds University
  • 19: New presenters of Countryfile Julia Bradbury and Matt the Farmer
  • 20: New Lecturer Mike
  • 21: New Doctor Christophe Moules
  • 22: Woy Hodgson, England manager
  • 23: New Canadian Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney
  • 24: New Prime Minister of Australia Tony Abbott (proposed by David)
  • 25: New director of McLaren Ron Dennis (Mike)
  • 26: New Head of DHS research funding and replacement for Leland, Michelle Colby (Mike)
  • 27: New Shadow International Development Secretary Diane Abbott (David)
  • 28: New Mentalist Prime Minister Theresa May (Mike)
  • 29: New UK representative to the International Arctic Science Committee, Steve (Dave)
  • 30: New councillor for Gospel Oak, Jenny (Rupert)
  • 31: New Brexit minister Dominic Raab (Dave)
  • 32: New MEP for South West England Ann Widdecombe (Mike)
  • 33: New MP for Newbury Laura Ferris (David)
  • 34: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?)
  • 35: Newly appointed Second Dog of Steve's household Skye a.k.a. Victor (Dave)
  • 36: New Chairman of Yorkshire County Cricket Club Lord Patel (David)
  • 37: New King, King Charles III (Mike)
  • 37: New Prime Minister of Italy, Georgia Meloni (David)
  • 38: New host of the Weakest Link, Romesh Ranganathan (Mike)
To someone who has recently died
  • 16: Dead Paul Newman
  • 17: Dead Farrah Fawcett
  • 18: Dead Stephen Gately
  • 19: Dead Gerard Kelly (Bunny from Extras)
  • 20: Dead Leslie Nielsen
  • 21: Dead Bubba Smith
  • 22: Dead Frank Carson
  • 23: Dead Clive Dunn
  • 24: Dead Seamus Heaney (Dave)
  • 25: Dead Roger Lloyd Pack (David)
  • 26: Dead Garibaldi (David)
  • 27: Dead Cilla Black (Mike)
  • 28: Dead Ronnie Corbett (David)
  • 29: Dead Yorkshireman Gorden Kaye (David)
  • 30: Dead Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin (Mike)
  • 31: Dead Burt Reynolds (Mike)
  • 32: Dead Peter Mayhew (Mike)
  • 33: Dead Bob Willis (Mike)
  • 34: Dead Eddie Large
  • 35: Dead Jackie Mason (David)
  • 36: Dead Shane Warne (Mike)
  • 37: Dead Mrs McClusky, dying the same day as the Queen (David)
  • 38: Dead Mike Yarwood (Mike)
To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed
  • 17: Beardo Pelham Barton (and recruit)
  • 18: Moustachioed Des Lynam
  • 19: Shavoed Vernon Kay
  • 20: Shavoed Leslie Nielsen
  • 21: Mutton Chopsoed Chester Arthur
  • 22: ?
  • 23: Beardo Christoffer from the Bishop's Arms, Malmö
  • 24: Moustachioed Allan Border (Steve)
  • 25: Beardo Hideous Orangutan - from Fawlty Towers (Steve)
  • 26: Shavoed Jon Lee from S Club 7 (Mike)
  • 27: Moustachioed Samarjit Patnaik (Steve)
  • 28: Newly-Moustachioed Nigel Farrage (Steve)
  • 29: Beardoed Romesh Ranganathan (Mike)
  • 30: Not-particularly-shavoed Rupert (Mike)
  • 31: Beardoed Dave (proposed by Mike)
  • 32: Mustachioed Kevin Webster (?)
  • 33: Long-haired Bryan May (David)
  • 34: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike)
  • 35: Mustachioed Paul Chuckle (Mike)
  • 36: Mustachioed CAMRA guy in the Waterworks (Mike)
  • 37: Bearded Jack Black, recently spotted on Hollywood Boulevard (Mike)
  • 38: Beardoed Most of the Vikings (Mike)
To a mentalist
  • 18: Mentalist in Casa Mexicana
  • 19: Mentalist Robert from Duty Free
  • 20: Mentalist Leslie Nielsen
  • 21: The mentalist in Comics whom we failed to get a destination from
  • 22: Mentalist Brian Paddick
  • 23: Mentalist restauranteur (and alleged purchaser of the world's entire supply of Donkey Cheese) Novak Djoković
  • 24: Mentalist Boris Johnson (Dave)
  • 25: Mentalist David Blaine (Mike)
  • 26: Mentalist Putin (David)
  • 27: Mentalist Jeremy Corbyn (David)
  • 28: Mentalist Donald Trump (Chris)
  • 29: Mentalist David Icke (Mike)
  • 30: Mentalist Canadian MP Nancy Ruth, who proposed to change the Canadian National Anthem to be gender neutral (David)
  • 31: Mentalist Andrzej the Pirate (Mike)
  • 32: Mentalist Roy Lancaster, for leaving a one-star review of Anzio's Beach Head War Cemetery despite never having gone himself (Mike)
  • 33: Mentalist dead Derek Acorah (Mike) most haunted
  • 34: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike)
  • 35: Mentalist Caligula (David)
  • 36: Mentalist King Harold for fighting a battle at Stamford Bridge and then walking all the way to Battle (Mike)
  • 37: Mentalists two Boris Vishnevskys, who ran for election against the real Boris Vishnevsky in St Petersburg (David)
  • 38: Mentalist who saw reported a ritual mass murder to the Lincolnshire Police but [it was a yoga class|https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339] (Dave)
To a Canadian
  • 19: Canadian Greg Rusedski
  • 20: Canadian Leslie Nielsen
  • 21: Canadian William Shatner
  • 22: Canadian Alain Robidoux
  • 23: Canadian Mike Nolan
  • 24: Canadian Michael J Fox (David)
  • 25: Canadian Dan Aykroyd (Mike)
  • 26: Canadian Bill Werburniuk (Mike)
  • 27: Canadian Rachel McAdams (Mike)
  • 28: Canadian John Candy (David)
  • 29: Canadian Justin Trudeau (David)
  • 30: Canadian MP Nancy Ruth (Mike)
  • 31: Canadian Tom Smylie, Senior Veterinarian at the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (Mike)
  • 32: Canadian Tim Horton (Steve)
  • 33: (?)
  • 34: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave)
  • 35: Canadian-born Emma Raducanu (Chris)
  • 36: Canadian mentalist Elon Musk (Mike)
  • 37: Canadian Dan Olsen, YouTuber and cryptocurrency hater (Dave)
  • 38: Canadian comedy troupe The Kids In The Hall (Rupert)
To someone with silver hair
  • 20: Silver Haired Leslie Nielsen
  • 21: Silver Haired Phillip Schofield
  • 22: Platinum Blonde Mayor Boris Johnson
  • 23: Silver Haired Jonathan Edwards
  • 24: Silver-haired tractor driver Gary Lineker (Dave)
  • 25: Silver-haired racing driver Kimi Raikkonen (Dave/Steve)
  • 26: Silver-haired Harry Gration (Steve)
  • 27: Silver-haired Geoffrey from Rainbow (Steve)
  • 28: Silver-Haired Damon Hill (Mike)
  • 29: Silver-haired David Jason (Mike)
  • 30: Silver-haired Tony Moules (Mike)
  • 31: Silver haired Joe Johnson (not the snooker player) (Dave)
  • 32: Silver-haired Brian Tilsley (Steve)
  • 33: Silver-haired Dead David Bellamy (Dave)
  • 34: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike)
  • 35: Partially silver-haired Luna (Steve)
  • 36: Silver-haired HM The Queen, in her Jubilee year (David)
  • 37: Intermittently silver-haired (and mental) Tandy (Dave)
  • 38: Raven-haired #3 from Montenegro (Dave)
To an alleged cheat
  • 21: Alleged cheat S X Ma
  • 22: Alleged ([since reformed]) cheat Dwain Chambers
  • 23: Cheat Tecwen Whittock
  • 24: Alleged cheat Stephen Lee (David)
  • 25: Alleged cheat François Hollande (Steve)
  • 26: Alleged cheats Blatter & FIFA (Mike)
  • 27: Alleged cheats The New England Patriots (Mike)
  • 28: Alleged cheat Hillary Clinton (David)
  • 29: Alleged cheat Mike's Indonesian collaborator, who is being investigated for academic dishonesty (Mike)
  • 30: Alleged tennis cheat Dan Evans (David)
  • 31: Alleged cheat Sir Robin Wales (Dave)
  • 32: Cheats David Warner and Steve Smith (Mike)
  • 33: Alleged cheat Alastair Carter (Mike)
  • 34: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave)
  • 35: Love cheat Matt Hancock (David, based on Mike's idea)
  • 36: Alleged cheat Christian Horner (Mike)
  • 37: Alleged cheat chess grandmaster Hans Niemann (Mike)
  • 38: Alleged cheat Hunter Biden (David)
To a potential eighth Colonel's man
  • 22: Jon Voight
  • 23: Dead Don Ameche
  • 24: Devon Malcolm (David)
  • 25: Keith (David)
  • 26: [That Dog] (David)
  • 27: Fabrizio Figer / Finger (Dave)
  • 28: Angel (Mike)
  • 29: Lord Bernard of Bourscheid (David)
  • 30: Synthetic Elon Musk in 2042 (Mike)
  • 31: Military hero Johnson Beharry (Mike)
  • 32: Mentalist Chuka Umunna (proposed by Dave)
  • 33: Sean Pertwee (Mike, but David made it happen)
  • 34: Luna (David)
  • 35: Pate from Soccer Boss (Mike & David)
  • 36: The red-bearded Alan of Richmond (Mike)
  • 37: Hank, Dave's plasterer (Mike)
  • 38: The Faroese Rhod Gilbert (Mike)
To a seasonal chanteur
  • 23: Mentalist Christmas pop smash artist Mr. Blobby
  • 24: Terry Wogan, for his timeless "Floral Dance" (Steve)
  • 25: Chris Rhea (Mike)
  • 26: Mel Smith, for 'Rocking Around The Christmas Tree' (Steve)
  • 27: East 17, for 'Stay Another Day' (Steve)
  • 28: (no toast)
  • 29: Blondin (David)
  • 30: Chris Rea (Mike) (Not to be confused with the more obscure, but equally seasonal, Chris Rhea Mike toasted in Mission 25 25 Ghent)
 Retired by agreement after Mission 30 30 Bergen
To a military hero
  • 24: Lt Col John Frost (David)
  • 25: Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington (David)
  • 26: The Red Baron (David)
  • 27: Lt. Colonel Wilfrith Elstob, V.C. (Mike)
  • 28: Richard the Lionheart (David)
  • 29: Lt. Winters (Mike)
  • 30: Dave's Grandfather (David)
  • 31: General Wladyslaw Andres (David)
  • 32: Pvt. B. Roberts (? Mike or David?)
  • 33: CSM Hollis, V.C. (David)
  • 34: Edward IV (David)
  • 35: Pen Farthing, for evacuating a plane full of dogs from Afghanistan (Mike)
  • 36: Volodymyr Zelensky (David)
  • 37: Captain Bligh (Mike)
  • 38: Viking Hero and early visitor to England Ragnar Lodbok (Dave)
To an idiotic former draw destination
To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break
  • 26: "Dave and I will see you later!" (David / Mike)
  • 27: "You, fuck you, you are a piece of fucking shit" (Mike)
  • 28: "That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch" (David)
  • 29: "Justin Trudeau has been around for ages" (Mike) (see above)
  • 30: "I'm going to buy this cheese with prawns in it" (David) (may not have actually been said)
  • 31: "I'm going to reinstate Louis' round" (David, quoting Mike)
  • 32: "How about you just have two pizzas and some meat" (David)
  • 33: “Definitely called my bus” (David, quoting Rupert)
  • 34: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike)
  • 35: That we should descend Helvellyn on Swirral Edge (David)
  • 36: "Dr Wine is available everywhere" (David)
  • 37: "Let's use [path up the mountain] K2 instead of H1" (David)
  • 38: "This beer is brewed with sheep shit" (David)
To a noted user of public transport
  • 27: Angel, for helping us navigate the buses to the base of the mountain (Dave)
  • 28: Her Majesty The Queen (David)
  • 29: Rosa Parks (David)
  • 30: Robert from "Duty Free" from 19 Valletta (Dave)
  • 31: Rupert, who crossed Sussex on route to this Colonel's break (Dave)
  • 32: Greta Thunberg (Dave)
  • 33: Carlos Ghosn (the CEO who escaped on bullet train) (Dave)
  • 34: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave)
  • 35: Prolific user of Public Footpaths Cumbrian Brian Glover? (Mike)
  • 36: Recent prolific user of public transport Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe (Dave)
  • 36: Prolific user of Articulated Lorries David Cameron (Mike)
  • 37: The world heads of state taking a bus to the Queen's funeral (David)
  • 38: The Montenegrin Women's Football Team (Mike)
Special lifetime achievement toast
  • 28: The Lifetime Achievements of Terry Wogan (Mike)
  • 37: The Lifetime Achievements of The Queen (Mike)
To a fair point made on a Colonel's break
  • 28: "Why you get off 96?" (Steve)
  • 29: "If you scientists can't save the world, us artists are going to have to get up and do something" (David)
  • 30: "We'll never be able to tramp 15 miles through deep snow in the time available" (David)
  • 31: "This selectoid cost £3. How much did the one in Bergen cost?" (David, quoting Mike)
  • 32: "Let me call my boss" (David)
  • 33: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!)
  • 34: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston)
  • 35: That the staff at the Fell Bar should have considered the size of their pizzas when buying tables (Dave)
  • 36: "There's a muddy patch coming up. I couldn't find a way around it." (Dave, quoting a runner we met on a path)
  • 37: "Well I just toasted Zoltan" (Dave & David)
  • 38: "We will experience turbulence during landing" (David)
To someone who has recently left office
  • 29: Douglas Carswell (Dave)
  • 30: Tim Farron (Mike)
  • 31: Dominic Raab (Dave) (see above)
  • 32: Fiona Onasanya (David)
  • 33: Jo Swinson (?)
  • 34: 73 UK MEPs (David)
  • 35: The mentalist Mike Pence (Mike)
  • 36: Marina Osvyannikova, for presenting an anti-war placard on Russian TV news (Dave)
  • 37: Richard Osman, co-host of Pointless (Mike)
  • 38: Hansi Flick, former manager of the German football team (Mike)
To a nice German
  • 31: Nice German Claus von Stauffenberg (David)
  • 32: Nice German Max Planck (David)
  • 33: Moderately nice German Rommel (David)
  • 34: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave)
  • 35: Nice German Thomas Muller, for missing an open goal against England in the World Cup (Mike)
  • 36: Nicer than expected German Sebastian Vettel, for refusing to compete in the Russian GP (David)
  • 37: Nice German Zoran, Mike's Taekwondo sparring partner (Mike)
  • 38: Nice German Selina from Dave's Morris Side (Dave)
A Geordie
  • 33: Geordie Bill Dunn, commander of the Juno Beach Churchill AVRE 1 Charlie tank (Dave)
  • 34: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave)
  • 35: The Geordies dressed as white mammals (goats we think, or possibly sheep or cows) we met climbing Helvellyn (Dave)
  • 36: The Geordie Peter Beardsley (Mike)
 Retired by Big Rich Lionheart after Mission 37 34 37 Sarajevo
For a good choice
  • 34: For a good choice, Tom (Dave)
To a great invention
  • 35: The invention of the two-step process for cleaning a Vitoshan Dog with leaves and Dirt (Steve)
  • 36: The Oast to dry hops (Dave)
  • 37: The concrete bobsled run (Dave)
  • 38: Roasting malt with sheep dung to make stout (Dave)
To a very funny thing
  • 36: A very funny thing Italy beating Wales in the Six Nations (David) (not universally approved)
  • 37: A very funny thing getting knocked back in both Bosnian and Italian trying to get a destination from a mentalist (David)
  • 38: A very funny thing Ferdinand McFatCat's guts squeezed out (David)
To the stammtisch
  • 36: To the first Stammtisch in a round room* (David)
To a noted user of private transport
  • 37: To David Schultz, for not wearing mask on plane (Mike)
For recently losing weight

*He means a bollock

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