The toasts: Difference between revisions
m (D'oh, formatting fix) |
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* On a memorial bench near Scout Scar | * On a memorial bench near Scout Scar | ||
| To a great invention | | To a great invention | ||
|- | |||
|{{M36}} | |||
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* At the Waterworks micropub | |||
* At the Oast | |||
* By the Hidden Truths sculpture on the 1066 Country Walk | |||
* At the Battle Tap | |||
* At the Three Legs Taproom | |||
| To a very funny thing | |||
To the [[Stammtisch|stammtisch]] | |||
|} | |} | ||
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* {{M34s}}: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?) | * {{M34s}}: New Chair of SPI-M Graham Medley (Mike?) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Newly appointed Second Dog of Steve's household Skye a.k.a. Victor (Dave) | * {{M35s}}: Newly appointed Second Dog of Steve's household Skye a.k.a. Victor (Dave) | ||
* {{M36s}}: New Chairman of Yorkshire County Cricket Club Lord Patel (David) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Dead Eddie Large | * {{M34s}}: Dead Eddie Large | ||
* {{M35s}}: Dead Jackie Mason (David) | * {{M35s}}: Dead Jackie Mason (David) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Dead Shane Warne (Mike) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: Beardoed dead Charles Darwin (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Mustachioed Paul Chuckle (Mike) | * {{M35s}}: Mustachioed Paul Chuckle (Mike) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Mustachioed CAMRA guy in the Waterworks (Mike) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: Mentalist George Galloway, for uniting the unionist vote in Scotland (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Mentalist Caligula (David) | * {{M35s}}: Mentalist Caligula (David) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Mentalist King Harold for fighting a battle at Stamford Bridge and then walking all the way to Battle (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a Canadian | |To a Canadian | ||
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* {{M33s}}: (?) | * {{M33s}}: (?) | ||
* {{M34s}}: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Canadian Rob Harbron (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: | * {{M35s}}: Canadian-born Emma Raducanu (Chris) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Canadian mentalist Elon Musk (Mike) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: Silver-haired Winston, our AirBnB host (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Partially silver-haired Luna (Steve) | * {{M35s}}: Partially silver-haired Luna (Steve) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Silver-haired HM The Queen, in her Jubilee year (David) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Alleged tax cheat John McAfee (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Love cheat Matt Hancock (David, based on Mike's idea) | * {{M35s}}: Love cheat Matt Hancock (David, based on Mike's idea) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Alleged cheat Christian Horner (Mike) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Luna (David) | * {{M34s}}: Luna (David) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Pate from Soccer Boss (Mike & David) | * {{M35s}}: Pate from Soccer Boss (Mike & David) | ||
* {{M36s}}: The red-bearded Alan of Richmond (Mike) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: The Military Hero Edward IV (David) | * {{M34s}}: The Military Hero Edward IV (David) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Pen Farthing, for evacuating a plane full of dogs from Afghanistan (Mike) | * {{M35s}}: Pen Farthing, for evacuating a plane full of dogs from Afghanistan (Mike) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Volodymyr Zelensky (David) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: {{Rouen}} | * {{M34s}}: {{Rouen}} | ||
* {{M35s}}: {{Alice Springs}} (Dave) | * {{M35s}}: {{Alice Springs}} (Dave) | ||
* {{M36s}}: {{Taranto}} (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | ||
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* {{M34s}}: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike) | * {{M34s}}: "I'm asking you nicely" (Mike) | ||
* {{M35s}}: That we should descend Helvellyn on Squirrel Edge (David) | * {{M35s}}: That we should descend Helvellyn on Squirrel Edge (David) | ||
* {{M36s}}: "Dr Wine is available everywhere" (David) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|To a noted user of public transport | |To a noted user of public transport | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Dominic Cummings (who thought he was using private transport, but someone spotted him) (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Prolific user of Public Footpaths Cumbrian Brian Glover? (Mike) | * {{M35s}}: Prolific user of Public Footpaths Cumbrian Brian Glover? (Mike) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Recent prolific user of public transport Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe (Dave) | |||
* {{M36s}}: Prolific user of Articulated Lorries David Cameron (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
|Special lifetime achievement toast | |Special lifetime achievement toast | ||
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* {{M33s}}: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!) | * {{M33s}}: “You can use your magic heart” (?, quoting Mike, about a game of Bang!) | ||
* {{M34s}}: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston) | * {{M34s}}: "Well then you should have told him to bugger off then" (Steve, quoting Winston) | ||
* {{M35s}}: That | * {{M35s}}: That the staff at the Fell Bar should have considered the size of their pizzas when buying tables (Dave) | ||
* {{M36s}}: ?? | |||
|- | |- | ||
| To someone who has recently left office | | To someone who has recently left office | ||
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* {{M34s}}: 73 UK MEPs (David) | * {{M34s}}: 73 UK MEPs (David) | ||
* {{M35s}}: The mentalist Mike Pence (Mike) | * {{M35s}}: The mentalist Mike Pence (Mike) | ||
* {{M36s}}: The ex-mayor of Mariupol (David) | |||
| | | | ||
|- | |- | ||
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* {{M34s}}: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: Nice German Alexander Rothenberger, a former lab partner (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: Nice German Thomas Muller, for missing an open goal against England in the World Cup (Mike) | * {{M35s}}: Nice German Thomas Muller, for missing an open goal against England in the World Cup (Mike) | ||
* {{M36s}}: Nice German Sebastian Vettel, for refusing to compete in the Russian GP (David) | |||
|- | |- | ||
| A Geordie | | A Geordie | ||
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* {{M34s}}: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave) | * {{M34s}}: The Geordie Mark Wild, CEO of Crossrail (Dave) | ||
* {{M35s}}: The Geordies dressed as white mammals (goats we think, or possibly sheep or cows) we met climbing Helvellyn (Dave) | * {{M35s}}: The Geordies dressed as white mammals (goats we think, or possibly sheep or cows) we met climbing Helvellyn (Dave) | ||
* {{M36s}}: The Geordie Peter Beardsley (Mike) | |||
|- | |- | ||
| For a good choice | | For a good choice | ||
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| | | | ||
* {{M35s}}: The invention of the two-step process for cleaning a Vitoshan Dog with leaves and Dirt (Steve) | * {{M35s}}: The invention of the two-step process for cleaning a Vitoshan Dog with leaves and Dirt (Steve) | ||
* {{M36s}}: The Oast to dry hops (Dave) | |||
|- | |||
| To a very funny thing | |||
| | |||
* {{M36s}}: A very funny thing Italy beating Wales in the Six Nations (David) (not universally approved) | |||
|- | |||
| To the [[Stammtisch|stammtisch]] | |||
| | |||
* {{M36s}}: To the first Stammtisch in a round room (Mike) | |||
|} | |} |
Revision as of 02:28, 20 March 2022
A new regular feature of Colonel's missions, the toasts originated on Mission 15 15 Geneva. After a strenuous hike up La dole, the men surveyed the spread out landscape beneath, and were moved to mark the occasion with a toast. The chosen toastee was Mayor Boris, who had recently attained office; the vehicle of the toast, a can of Feldschloesschen lager.
Since then, at lunchtime on the excursion day, the men toast various luminaries of different types. Oddly, the toasts are not associated with any particular mascot, nor are they an application.
Mission | Location and vehicle of toast | New toast | |
---|---|---|---|
Mission 15 15 Geneva | La Dôle with Feldschloesschen lager | To someone who has recently attained office | |
Mission 16 16 Athens | Lykavittos Hill | To someone who has recently died | |
Mission 17 17 36 Porto | Croft's distillery, Porto, with Croft's port | To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed | |
Mission 18 18 Berlin | Christmas market, Alexanderplatz | To a mentalist | |
Mission 19 19 Valletta | Ramla Bay, Gozo, with Cisk lager and Kinnie | To a Canadian | |
Mission 20 20 Bruges | De Garre, with their Belgian home brew | To someone with silver hair | |
Mission 21 21 Budapest | János-hegy hill, with various Hungarian beers | To an alleged cheat | |
Mission 22 22 Lisbon | Beside the river in Belém, with Sagres and Super Bock beer | To a potential eighth Colonel's man | |
Mission 23 23 Copenhagen | In a Christmas shack in the courtyard of Kronborg Slot, with mustard Dan Cake and various Danish beers | To a seasonal chanteur | |
Mission 24 24 Arnhem | On a graffittied wall overlooking the Rhine, with Hertog Jan and another beer | To a military hero | |
Mission 25 25 Ghent | On the Lion Mound at Waterloo with a selection of Belgian beers | To an idiotic former draw destination | |
Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen | Up the Zugspitze with boiling Hacker-Pschorr beer and on The Wank with the remains of the Hacker-Pschorr | To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break | |
Mission 27 27 Sofia | At the summit of Vitosha with miscellaneous cans of cheap-but-good local beer | To a noted user of public transport | |
Mission 28 28 Vienna |
|
| |
Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City) |
|
To someone who has recently left office | |
Mission 30 30 Bergen | Revurtjern hut,
near Fløyen |
(no new toast) | |
Mission 31 31 Kraków |
|
To a nice German | |
Mission 32 32 Rome | (no new toast) | ||
Mission 33 33 Bayeux |
|
To a Geordie | |
Mission 34 34 Skipton |
|
For a good choice | |
Mission 35 35 Kendal |
|
To a great invention | |
Mission 36 36 Rye |
|
To a very funny thing
To the stammtisch |
Toastees
Toast | Toastees | Notes |
---|---|---|
To someone who has recently attained office |
|
|
To someone who has recently died |
|
|
To someone beardoed, moustachioed or shavoed |
|
|
To a mentalist |
| |
To a Canadian |
|
|
To someone with silver hair |
|
|
To an alleged cheat |
|
|
To a potential eighth Colonel's man |
|
|
To a seasonal chanteur |
|
Retired by agreement after Mission 30 30 Bergen |
To a military hero |
|
|
To an idiotic former draw destination |
| |
To a demented statement made on a Colonel's Break |
| |
To a noted user of public transport |
| |
Special lifetime achievement toast |
|
|
To a fair point made on a Colonel's break |
| |
To someone who has recently left office | ||
To a nice German |
| |
A Geordie | ||
For a good choice |
| |
To a great invention | ||
To a very funny thing |
| |
To the stammtisch |
|