Little Lucky Leprechaun's Genoa Diary

Friday, 23rd May

I sat around on a little pedestal in David's lounge all day whilst he was at work. It was really f**king boring.

At about six o'clock Mike turned up and that coincided with David coming home from work. They were talking some bollocks about how the Genoa experience had started and how soon Genoa would be happening and crap like that. Mike came over to say hello to me which was quite nice but I was thoroughly pissed off when they went for a meal to the Star Inn without me.

I sat on my own for another three hours before they came back. We watched some boring programme called "Big Brother" but I fell asleep halfway through.

Saturday, 24th May

I woke up at about eleven o'clock to discover that Mike and David had already left the house and gone shopping. I couldn't f**king believe it! I sat around on my own for another few hours a bit miserable, until I realised that I couldn't see Kurt anywhere. He was some bollocks thing that they'd bought in Salzburg. Apparently Mike must have left him at his house. Things were looking up. Perhaps this break wouldn't be so bad after all.

David and Mike arrived back at the house at about four o'clock, by which time I was going a little stir crazy. I'd been left on my own all day again—a regular occurrence during the six month gaps between Colonel's breaks. They were both laden with shopping and they boasted to me that they'd bought themselves some "cool" clothes. What a load of f**king bollocks! Tney hadn't even bought me anything!

The two of them then proceeded to get changed into running stuff. Soon Rupert phoned up to say he was at the station so they went to pick him up. When Rupert walked into the house, he didn't acknowledge me at all—bastard.

Rupert either couldn't be arsed to go running or he'd forgotton to bring his gear. Either way, David and Mike got some exercise in whilst Rupert went and watched.

Eventually they got bored and after they'd got changed we went off to the Star Inn again. Sometimes those guys have got no f**king imagination.

I sat on the table and attempted to share in the excitement of going on another break with the Colonel's Regiment.

We went home early. I was f**king starving because they hadn't seen fit to buy me any food.

When we got back I drifted off to sleep whilst those bastards started to watch some of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Sunday, 25th May

Those bastards woke me up at about one in the morning, as they'd stupidly got us on a seven o'clock flight to Genoa. I sat in the lounge waiting patiently to go and eventually David picked me up and shoved me in his pocket. I didn't see anything for several hours and I must have fallen asleep, because the next time I saw the light of day I was in a f***ing hotel room. It was dark. For some reason I was forced to share a room with Rupert, which I wasn't very happy about. Anyway, I was getting myself ready to go out for the day when the buggers just disappeared and left me.

I had a f***ing boring day after that. I sat in the hotel room for hours on my own and tried to go to sleep. They came back to get changed for dinner later. I reckon Rupert was in a poop but I couldn't be arsed to talk to him. It became obvious that they weren't going to take me out for dinner that night so I just settled down for an early night and slept right through until morning.