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The Polish city of Gdańsk was the destination for mission 11, on which the Regiment recruited Hel 2006.


Mike's Gdańsk diary


Andrzej the Pirate

Andrzej is a pirate who likes to stroll around the Stare Miesto area of 11 Gdańsk shouting "Ahoy" (or possibly "Achój"). It is still unknown whether he is in the employ of the municipal authorities, or if he is a genuine mentalist. However, he is equipped with his own stamp.

Andrzej selected Vienna as PC Bourne's choice for the 12th Colonel's Break. He was sadly eliminated in the final draw.

Bread with lard

Bread with lard is a favoured food of Kashubian peasants throughout Northwestern Poland. It is, quite simply, sliced bread accompanied by lard. The lard is rather strange and has black lumps in it.

Five grolsch

The term five grolsch can be used to describe any very small amount of money. Originally it referred to the subdivision of Polish currency, one hundred of which make up one zloty. David travelled to 11 Gdańsk without any Polish money, but fortunately Dave came to the rescue by advancing him five groszy, which of course had to be tabulated. Finding that grolsch was much more easily pronounced the five groszy was thereafter referred to as five grolsch.

While stranded in Gdynia on the excursion to Hel, David generously offered the coin, his entire Polish wealth, to a young female vagabond. However, she rather rudely turned her nose up at it and walked away. There's no pleasing some people.


Chris tries to order some gofry, but things are going badly wrong
Chris tries to order some gofry, but things are going badly wrong

Gofry is a food substance which is served in the market in 11 Gdańsk. It is basically a waffle and is accompanied with butterscotch or chocolate sauce, cream and fruit. Whilst a gofry tastes good, it is very difficult to order more than one of the same variety as this causes confusion.


Relaxing in Hel
Relaxing in Hel

Hel is round the corner from 11 Gdańsk. The Colonel's Regiment went to Hel and back on their excursion day. You can only go straight to Hel in the summer, so we changed trains in Gdynia.

Luckily, it wasn't a cold day in Hel, so the mascots got to sunbathe. The less careful ones burned in Hel.

Herring in Kashubian style

Kashubian peasants have their own take on how to serve herring. They lightly cook it, then cover it in a strange fruity sauce. It tastes like sick.


Kashubians are members of a peasant tribe which live in northwestern Poland. They pride themselves on their own particular brand of culinary delights, including bread with lard and herring in Kashubian style. Restaurant Mestwin in 11 Gdańsk is dedicated to their cuisine and is highly recommended for anyone who likes food that tastes like sick.

Prosze Wybierac

A very useful Polish phrase which may be required to communicate with mentalists such as Andrzej the Pirate. It means, "Please choose".


Sopot is a suburb of 11 Gdańsk, complete with its own beach. It's the sort of place you might want to get off at, or get off in, on the road to Hel...

Sphinx burger

Contrary to conventional thought, a Sphinx burger is not actually a burger at all. It can be purchased from the restaurant Sphinx in 11 Gdańsk (and other similar establishments throughout Poland) and comes in chicken, pork or vegetarian variety. It is made up of a large bread roll stuffed full of chopped bits of meat (or vegetables), topped with lots of salad and rather grim sauce which makes it nigh on impossible to battle through to the few decent bits of meat at the bottom. It is, quite simply, disgusting.


A suburb and railway station in Gdańsk. It is actually called "Wrzeszcz" as is proved by the photo, but the above is the nearest any of the Colonel's men got to pronouncing it.


David pointed out that this was entirely due to laziness on our part, a bit like a Pole going to London and not trying any harder than "Mornington Crzzzzz" or "Oxford Shrzzzzzz". (Incidentally, the small Underground sign in the photo reads "Camden Town", which is a Polish club-cum-fashion outfit)

To even things out, the next station, "Oliwa", is quite easy to say.