PC Bourne

From The Colonel's Website
Number of missions 6 (Mission 10 10 Zürich, Mission 11 11 Gdańsk, Mission 12 12 Helsinki, Mission 14 14 Hanover, Mission 15 15 Geneva, Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen)
Missions commanded 0
Draw privilege P.C. Bourne's mentalist round
Gets a destination always
Destinations selected 28 Vienna, 17 36 Porto, 14 Hanover, Halifax (Nova Scotia), Québec City, Fiji, Manaus, 19 Miami, 40 Douglas, 3 Stockholm, Flores, Marrakesh, 13 25 Reykjavík, Kyoto, Cabo San Lucas, 15 Geneva, Turin, Manila, Beirut, Nagasaki, 30 Bergen, 17 36 Porto, 35 Alice Springs, Santa Fe)
Average finishing position in draws 6.36 (--,--,--,--,--,--,--,--,--,--,4,7,1,8(S),--,9(S),7,--,9,7(S),10(B),7,--,1,--,7,7,--,5,1,4)
Best finish in a draw 1st (Mission 13 13 25 Reykjavík,Mission 24 24 Arnhem) and Mission 34 34 Skipton
Worst finish in a draw 10th (Mission 21 21 Budapest, when bummed and Mission 32 32 Rome, when shafted)
Preceding mascot Barney
Following mascot Hel 2006

P.C. Bourne joined the Colonel's regiment on Mission 10 10 Zürich. He was found languishing on a market stall with a group of similar looking characters and having no recollection of his real identity. The only clue was a micro chip embedded in his arm and carrying the number of a Swiss bank account. However, on visiting the bank, it appeared that the safety deposit box to which the number referred had already been cleared out by a man who resembled the actor Matt Damon. P.C. Bourne is still searching for his true identity and has pledged his future to the Colonel until such time as his identity is revealed.

P.C. Bourne has an unaccountable affinity for trams.

P.C. Bourne's mentalist round

This was added to the draw in Mission 11 11 Gdańsk. As P.C. Bourne is struggling to find his true identity, he is entitled to steal one identity on each break. To do this, the Colonel's regiment must each declare a destination of their choice at the first night meal, which gets added to a list. This list must then be carried around with them for the following two days, until a mentalist of quality is found. Once a mentalist has been discovered, the Colonel's Regiment must make contact with the mentalist and ask him or her to select a destination from their list. P.C. Bourne then steals the identity of this mentalist and adds their choice of destination to the draw as his own choice.

Interaction with Gløgg

If Gløgg bums P.C. Bourne, he loses his destination.

If P.C. Bourne is helped, he steals another identity. He therefore duplicates a destination put in by any of the Colonel's Regiment or by any of the mascots who hold a destination (decided at random). This becomes "Gløgg's choice".


Mission Mentalist consulted P.C. Bourne's choice Position
Mission 11 11 Gdańsk Andrzej the Pirate 28 Vienna 4th
Mission 12 12 Helsinki Waitress Ploppy 17 36 Porto 7th
Mission 13 13 25 Reykjavík Steve, Geordie mentalist 14 Hanover 1st
Mission 14 14 Hanover Historian Bus Driver Halifax (Nova Scotia) 8th (shafted)
Mission 15 15 Geneva Stammtisch waitress mentalist Québec City N/A (in hell)
Mission 16 16 Athens Brent Shannaman Fiji 9th (shafted)
Mission 17 17 36 Porto Aveiro Waiter Manaus 7th
Mission 18 18 Berlin Juan, waiter from Gran Canaria 19 Miami N/A (in hell)
Mission 19 19 Valletta Tour Guide at St Agatha's Church, Rabat 40 Douglas 9th
Mission 20 20 Bruges Barman at 't Poatersgat 3 Stockholm 7th (shafted)
Mission 21 21 Budapest Strange busker on palace walls Montepulciano 10th (bummed)
Mission 22 22 Lisbon Shavo in Bar do Ricardo Flores 7th
Mission 23 23 Copenhagen Barman in Brewery who loved Marrakesh Marrakesh N/A (in hell)
Mission 24 24 Arnhem Dutch John de Mello 13 25 Reykjavík 1st
Mission 25 25 Ghent Belgian Reg Holdsworth Kyoto N/A (in hell)
Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen Waiter at Drei Mohren Cabo San Lucas 7th
Mission 27 27 Sofia Angel from Dragalevtsi 15 Geneva 7th
Mission 28 28 Vienna Vienna symphony orchestra ticket vendor (and his friends) Turin N/A (in hell)
Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City) Useless waiter at El Companero Manila 9th
Mission 30 30 Bergen Norwegian Tom Lindstrom at Pingvinen Beirut 9th
Mission 31 31 Kraków Evelyn the tour guide at the salt mines Nagasaki 7th
Mission 32 32 Rome A comedic gelati vendor in Anzio 30 Bergen 10th (shafted)
Mission 33 33 Bayeux The owner of Le Conquerant 17 36 Porto 5th
Mission 34 34 Skipton Tom (via Whatsapp video call) 35 Alice Springs 1st
Mission 35 35 Kendal Cumbrian Brian Glover Santa Fe 4th
Mission 36 36 Rye Terry “Dave” Gilliam (owner of Waterworks) Cabo San Lucas N/A (in hell)

The mentalist lists for each mission have been created as such:

Mission pp Piparus pp Shanaman
Mission 11 11 Gdańsk

Andorra (Rupert), Hamburg (Dave), Marrakesh (Jon), 40 Douglas (David), 28 Vienna (Mike), Tallinn (Chris)

Mission 12 12 Helsinki

19 Valletta (Mike), Torquay (Steve), 40 Douglas (David), 17 36 Porto (Chris), Larnaka (Rupert)

Mission 13 13 25 Reykjavík

Stuttgart (Chris), Vilnius (Mike), 14 Hanover (David), Liechtenstein (Rupert)

Mission 14 14 Hanover

Fez (Mike), Halifax (Nova Scotia) (David), Fort Collins (Steve), Abu Dhabi (Rupert), Wrocław (Dave)

7 Barcelona

Mission 15 15 Geneva

18 Berlin (David), Zakopane (Dave), Liechtenstein (Rupert), Québec City (Mike)

3 Stockholm

Mission 16 16 Athens

Cape Verde Islands (Steve), Milwaukee (David), Moscow (Mike), Marrakesh (Rupert), Madeira (Dave)

6 Heidelberg

Mission 17 17 36 Porto

Jelenia Góra (Dave), Rio de Janeiro (David), Manaus (Steve), Buenos Aires (Rupert), Singapore (Mike)

1 Paris


Mission 18 18 Berlin

19 Miami (David), Gran Canaria (Rupert), New Orleans (Mike), Buenos Aires (Steve)

3 Stockholm


Mission 19 19 Valletta

22 Lisbon (Dave), Torquay (Mike), 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen (Steve), 40 Douglas (David), Jersey (Rupert)

3 Stockholm

Monte Carlo

Mission 20 20 Bruges

Moab (Steve), 30 Bergen (David), Plovdiv (Dave), Davos (Rupert)

3 Stockholm

Mission 21 21 Budapest

Ålesund (Dave), Kuala Lumpur (Mike), Braga (Rupert), Pico Island (Steve), Port Stanley (David)

17 36 Porto


Mission 22 22 Lisbon

23 Copenhagen (David), 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen (Rupert), Bamberg (Dave), Kiev (Mike), Prague (Chris), Flores (Steve)

3 Stockholm


Mission 23 23 Copenhagen

Playa Limón (Rupert), Picos de Europa (Dave), Marrakesh (Mike), Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro (David)

3 Stockholm

Monte Carlo

Mission 24 24 Arnhem

Portland, Oregon (Dave), 40 Douglas (David), 27 Sofia (Rupert), Sibiu (Steve)

13 25 Reykjavík


Mission 25 25 Ghent

São Vicente (Steve), Heraklion (Rupert), Stavanger (David), Kyoto (Mike), Simla (Dave)

17 36 Porto

Cabo San Lucas

Mission 26 21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen

Dubai (David), Tunis (Rupert), Kangerlussuaq (Steve), New Orleans (Mike)

17 36 Porto

Cabo San Lucas

Mission 27 27 Sofia

New Orleans (David), Plitvice Lakes (Rupert), Bangkok (Dave), Skibbereen (Steve), St Andrews (Mike)

15 Geneva

1 Paris

Mission 28 28 Vienna

Kathmandu (Mike), Chartres (Rupert), Turin (Dave), Tokyo (Steve), Hanoi (Chris), New Orleans (David)

3 Stockholm

Sidi Bou Said

Mission 29 29 Luxembourg (City)

Kangerlussuaq (Steve), Template:Darjeeling (Dave), Template:Nassau (David), Template:Ko Samui (Rupert), Manila (Mike)

13 25 Reykjavík

Mission 30 30 Bergen

Tromsø (David), Tbilisi (Mike), Template:The Algarve (Rupert), Beirut (Dave)

27 Sofia

21 Budapest
Mission 31 31 Kraków

Nagasaki (David), Dubrovnik (Mike), Riga (Rupert), Template:Bialowieza (Dave)

15 Geneva

Mission 32 32 Rome

Template:Akureyri (Steve), Brno (Mike), 39 Vaduz (David), Template:Guernsey (Dave) Bucharest (Rupert)

30 Bergen

18 Berlin
Mission 33 33 Bayeux

Picos de Europa (Dave), Vilnius (Mike), 39 Vaduz (David), Tbilisi (Rupert)

17 36 Porto

Mission 34 34 Skipton

Bucharest (Mike), Template:Ramsey (Dave), 35 Alice Springs (David), Munich (Rupert), Template:Estes Park (Steve)

3 Stockholm

Mission 35 35 Kendal

Template:Reit im Winkl (Dave), Andorra (Rupert), Santa Fe (David), Template:El Nido (Mike)

21 26 Garmisch-Partenkirchen

Mission 36 36 Rye

34 37 Sarajevo Template:(Mike), Kathmandu Template:(Dave), Tromsø Template:(David), Template:TrentoTemplate:(Rupert)

7 Barcelona

Cabo San Lucas
Mission 37 34 37 Sarajevo

Tunis Template:(Dave), 39 Vaduz Template:(Mike), Tromsø Template:(David), BucharestTemplate:(Rupert)

13 25 Reykjavík


It should be noted that all "mentalists" consulted are not actually mentalists - in the main they are nice people whom the Colonel's Regiment have had enormous pleasure to meet and spend (brief) quality time with on each break. The only genuine mentalist consulted thus far was Steve the Geordie mentalist during Mission 13 13 25 Reykjavík.

Please choose!

Language Source (native speaker?) Please choose!
Polish 11 Gdańsk (no) Proszę wybierać
Portuguese 22 Lisbon (yes) Por favor escolha un destino para nós